Star of David
by River Tam
Summary: After an accident that leaves Gordo in a coma, Lizzie reconsiders her feelings towards the boy that never left her side.
1. Heartbreak Down

**Star of David**

June 10th, 2005. Nobody saw it coming. Graduation came and went, Gordo, Miranda and I sat in the back yard of my Hillridge house for the last time. Gordo was going to be leaving for New York Film School. Miranda was heading to some prestigious school in California for young aspiring singers. And me; I wasn't so sure of my future. I knew the thought of being without my two best friends was going to be hard, but no one said it would be _this _hard.

"Schrodinger's cat; dead or alive?" Gordo asked, trying to break the tension a little bit.

"Who is that?" Miranda asked.

"I don't even remember going to school with anyone named Schrodinger." I couldn't even think of what they were talking about. Right now my thoughts were all focused on one single thought. Where was I going to go? I already got three acceptance letters, so I could choose between those schools. Gordo; he'd gotten at least six responses. I guess that's what happens when you're top three of your graduating class. Gordo had helped both of us with our entries for school. He'd filmed Miranda singing, and myself acting, and labled both of the tapes clearly and mailed them for us. It was the _least he could do_, he'd said.

"Schrodinger proposed an experiment. Say you've got a cat. He proposed that you put this cat in a box. You're not to open the box under any condition. Inside the box, with the cat, is food. However, there's also poison, so if you open the box, the cat dies. But if you leave the box closed, it also dies." Gordo spoke calmly. I always liked that about him.

Miranda looked shocked. "That's terrible! Who would do that with a cat? That poor kitten."

"Miranda, relax, it never happened. It was a thought experiment. The idea is to make you think about consequences. Say you come to a road, you know you'll die if you go down one, but the other, you're not so sure of. So you take the other road and die anyway. It wouldn't matter because you still tried." Gordo thought about it a moment, his blue eyes staring skyward. "I think that's what life is like. You need to take th chances while they're presented to you. That's why you chose to go to California."

"Are you saying I'm not a risk taker?" I asked, glaring daggers at my best friend of a lifetime.

"No, not exactly. I'm just saying that if you stay here your whole life, what are you going to experience out there? You need to feel the rush of the wind in your hair. The feel of the ocean on your toes. Lizzie, if you spend your whole life living in a box, you never get to see what life has to offer. Think outside the box while you can, one day you'll be spending the rest of your life in one."

"How philosophical of you," I murmured, laying down in the grass and staring at the clouds. Hanging on the line next to the fence were my old tyedye sheets. All these memories rushed back to me at once and I felt like I was overwhelmed. Gordo's parents had suggested spending our last day together doing whatever we couldn't do before. I didn't much feel like doing anything. "What do we do for the next five hours until Miranda's plane arrives?"

Miranda looked between Lizzie and Gordo. "Can we just sit here and reminisce? You're not going to be where I'm going, and I want to remember every moment. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do."

"Don't say _goodbye_, say _see you later_," Gordo corrected. "_Goodbye _is forever."

"You've been watching too much Casper." Miranda murmured.

Both of us erupted into a fit of giggles. So much had changed, and yet so little. Miranda was a bit darker now. I'm positive she wound up getting pulled into the gothic phase of life. Gordo; well, he was still the same guy I knew back then, only now he was slightly taller and smiled more. He still wore uniform shirts constantly, today's was a black uniform shirt that had a nametag scrawled in big bright red letters – Toby.

"Toby, you know what? Let's make a day of this. We should do what we never got to do." I suggested, wondering when someone was going to ask me who Toby was. "Am I the only one who noticed Gordo's nametag?"

"Ohhh." Miranda answered, smiling with a laugh. "What do you mean _never got to do_?"

Gordo knew what he wanted to do, he just didn't want to say it to me. Those knowing blue eyes gave away everything and yet nothing at all. His eyes betrayed nothing about what he really wanted. "Remember that time when we went to Kate's party and she fell into the cake?"

"She didn't fall, she was shoved, but yeah, it was hilarious." Miranda answered through giggles. "Cake is one accessory that always looks good on her."

"Kate Craft…can you believe that? Of all of the people in the world, Kate managed to get with Ethan." I laughed quietly, feebly. "Can you believe I ever had a crush on him?"

"Ugh, what did you guys see in him?" Gordo inquired, looking between us casually. "Was it his suave looks? His debonair style? His blue eyes?" He paused and blinked. "Brown eyes. I don't pay attention to guys often."

"I'm not entirely sure what I saw in him. I guess I was just jumping on the bandwagon." I replied, then jabbed Miranda in the ribs. "How about you, future Mrs. Tudgman? You and Larry…who knew!"

"Hey, now, Larry's actually a pretty decent guy." Miranda commented carefully, smiling softly when she thought about it. Larry hadn't proposed yet, not until his feet were on the ground at work. Then he'd marry Miranda and make sure she never had to work a day of her life.

"I dated him for a day, remember? I know all about it." I answered, seeing a small note of sadness in her eyes. "Are you sad that I didn't find someone special?"

"Well, not everyone has to get married after graduation. I'm just sad you never saw what anyone else did in you. It's your turn to feel beautiful, Lizzie." Miranda answered, changing the subject. "I want you to remember that no matter what, you'll always be beautiful. Even if you don't feel that way. And that dream you had told me about six years ago? That may not be as farfetched as you think."

"Dream? What dream?" Gordo inquired skeptically, staring between the two of us.

"I had a dream about Ronnie Jacobs." I mumbled under my breath, lying to avoid conflict. I don't know why I brought up Ronnie, it just seemed fitting at the time. When I saw the look of horror in Gordo's eyes, I knew I'd made a mistake. I don't know why the thought of Ronnie bothered him so much.

"You mean the guy who asked you out, then threw you into the gutter because he was too good for you?" Gordo folded his arms, scoffing under his breath. "Ronnie Jerk-obs, is more like it."

"Okay, you know what? How old are you, Gordo?" I shouted.

"Seventeen, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hate the man who stepped all over your heart!"

"Woah! Where did _that _come from?" I shouted back, closing my eyes tightly. "Ronnie was a jerk. I know. And I fell for it because I wanted a boyfriend. It isn't my fault that no one in the school liked me!"

Miranda knew how Gordo felt. He'd confided in her only once, telling her the exact feelings on his heart. She'd pieced it together on her own and he confirmed it. Her look of sadness made it all more worse. Even as Gordo walked away from us, I knew I'd said something terribly wrong when he didn't even stop to say _syonara._ "Lizzie…if nobody liked you…does that mean you think Gordo is a nobody?"

And just like that, I'd managed to alienate all of my friends into hating me.

And what I hadn't known…was that night was the last time I'd see Gordo as I remembered him.

* * *

><p><em>Short chapter, sorry. Umm, so, give it a chance and you might enjoy it. Please read and review. I know I have a habit of never finishing anything, but I might go and finish the others sometime this year lol. Most of it is in Lizzie's point of view, but some chapters are in third person. It will make sense when I get to that chapter.<em>


	2. Senseless

Mom had never taught me that pain was harder to deal with when the person didn't want anything to do with you. I'd called Gordo's phone ten times and there was no answer. I even texted him an hour later, letting him know Miranda got onto her flight okay and she was heading to Southern California as he received the message. There wasn't even a reply to that.

On the way home from the airport, I stopped by the Gordon's house to see if he was packing. I tapped carefully on the door and stepped back to wait. Roberta answered with a feeble smile. "Hello, Elizabeth."

"Mrs. Gordon, is Gor-David home?" I asked quietly, merely above a whisper. _Please say yes, please say yes…_

"No, I'm afraid he left twenty minutes ago. He said something about you saying some hurtful things to him." She frowned and reached over to pluck something from a box. "I was going to give this to your mom, but I thought maybe you should get it instead. Watch it whenever you're ready."

I looked at the tape and frowned when Gordo's mom closed the door. I didn't know what to say. I stared at the tape for a long time, green eyes watering. Gordo didn't even say goodbye. He didn't even say _I'll see you later_, or _peace_ or anything like that like he usually did. The tape weighed heavy on my hands.

Twenty minutes passed before I finally arrived home, walking slower than molasses in the winter going uphill. I couldn't bring herself to admit that I'd inadvertently hurt my best friend…_again_. He never really did forgive me after the mistake we made in Rome, kissing him on the rooftop.

I fell onto my bed and stared at the TV on the dresser. No one else was home, so it was probably a good thing I didn't close my bedroom door. Pushing the tape into the VCR, I waited for it to play. There was a few minutes of static, then finally a video started. I couldn't breathe for a long time when it dawned on me who it was. There I was, dancing through the yard, bottles in hand, dying fabric. There was me, at practice for gymnastics, one of me practicing my speech to be class president. He'd kept all of these.

I fell wearily on the bed and watched my life flash by, image by image. There were frames of me and Miranda doing our music video. A few stills of Gordo, laughing at something Miranda had said when I stole his camera. There were even snippets of graduation from 8th grade in there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say my heart stopped.

Finally, there was five minutes left, and Gordo's somber face showed up on the screen. "Elizabeth," Then I knew it was serious; he'd never called me that. Not once. "I've been documenting your life from childhood to greatness. Since I've been old enough to hold a camera and use it, I've been filming you. N-not in a creepy stalker way, but just, little bits and pieces. I've known you since I was six months old. In fact, I know almost everything about you. I know that your favorite color is purple. Your celebrity crush in middle school was Aaron Carter. You like to sleep in on Saturdays. You can never remember the words to Jingle Bells…" He laughed and quietly continued. "But yet, you never seemed to know me. You never knew anything about me. Like, did you know I could twitch my ears?" He did so for emphasis of his point. "And that my favorite food is curly fries? What I'm saying is that even though we grew up together…we didn't really know each other. We knew what we wanted each other to know. I told you about Schrödinger's cat for a reason. I want you to realize that either way you see this, it's going to hurt. You're the girl I've admired since I was ten…and now that I think about it, that just made it worse." He smiled sadly again, and then reached to turn the camera off. "One day, you'll realize what you've lost when it's too late."

Static.

I took a deep breath and turned the tape off. The phone rang, but I didn't want to answer it right away, figuring it was mom checking on Matt. The machine picked up, and the first thing I heard was Mrs. Gordon's voice. She didn't sound calm, or demanding, like usual. She sounded frightened. "Jo, Sam, if either of you are near your phone, I need to talk to Elizabeth right away. She hasn't been answering her cell phone."

I dug into my pocket and sure enough, five missed calls, all spanning from the time the video started, to now. Did she give me the wrong tape? I dialed the number I had memorized and waited; only to realize the number didn't come from the house. It was from a different number. I dug through my cell phone, finding the one Roberta had called from. _714? Isn't that out of the area? _Without thinking, I dialed the number.

Roberta picked up, taking a deep breath to calm her voice. "Elizabeth?"

"Mrs. Gordon, what's wrong? Did you give me the wrong tape or something?" I asked, worry in my voice. That's when I heard her mom and dad come into the background asking if he was okay. _He? Who is he?_

Roberta held her hand over the receiver to answer, her reply muffled. When she came back onto the line, she was in tears. "Oh, Elizabeth, it's terrible!"

"Did something happen to Mr. Gordon?" I asked stupidly, hoping that was the case. Did that make me a bad person?

She spoke again, her voice cracking. "David was heading for the airport to say sorry to you. When you weren't there, he came home and dropped something off, then decided to leave for New York early. He was on his way to LAX when another car swerved into his lane. It was a head on accident. Elizabeth, he's in bad shape."

_Miranda: Does that make Gordo a nobody?_

_Gordo: One day you'll realize what you've lost when it's too late._

_Lizzie: Do you have a crush on me?  
>Gordo: No…why would I have a crush on you? You're my best friend.<em>

_Gordo: Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you back?_

_Miranda: He saw you, you know. He saw you kissing Ronnie. Do you know how bad that hurt him? He wanted to ask you to be his valentine. He had a card for you and everything. But when he showed up there, you were in a lip-lock with Ronnie.  
>Lizzie: Like it didn't hurt me to see him with Brooke!<br>Miranda: Did it? You didn't seem very hurt by it._

Suddenly it all made sense, the video, Miranda…all of it made sense. Gordo was in love with me. And I'd crushed his heart.

Then I began to wonder if he had a video like this. Was his last few moments like mine were now? Did he flash back to every terrible moment in his life and regret it? Did he have a friend that crossed his mind, just before he blacked out?

"I need my mom…" I dropped the phone and started trembling on the floor.

* * *

><p>Jo came to pick up Lizzie, but neither of them spoke for some time. Mere moments to get to the hospital turned into an eternity. They arrived just as Gordo was being wheeled out of surgery. Lizzie wanted to scream at him to wake up, but it wouldn't matter. He couldn't hear her. She wrenched herself free of her mother's arms and ran to him anyway. "Gordo, listen please! Don't die on me. There's so much I need to say to you! Pull through for me, please!"<p>

Jo watched helplessly as her daughter tried to follow the doctors. She shook her head and gently placed a hand on Lizzie's shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be fine, he's always been a little tougher than you remember."

She looked down at her feet and backed up, falling into a chair. She could barely breathe. What if he died? Would she be able to keep going? She trembled harder against her mother's reassuring arms. Why did the bad things happen to her? "Mom…whose going to tell Miranda?"

Jo hadn't thought of that. No one wanted to touch on the topic of how he got into the accident in the first place. "Lizzie, we'll worry about that when the time comes, but for now, you need to calm down and look at this reasonably. Gordo is tough, he'll survive just fine. And if you doubt him, who are you to call him a friend?"

The young blonde stared blankly at her shoes and wiped away her tears. "Mom…I think…I love him."

"Of course you do, honey, he's a friend." Jo comforted, brushing her hand softly through Lizzie's hair. "Get some sleep. It's going to be a long night. I promise I won't leave your side."

And just like that, she fell asleep.

She didn't even wake up when the doctors told the Gordon's that Gordo wouldn't be waking up for a long time.

* * *

><p><em>It switches point of view a couple times in the story. It's always obvious whose it is though. Read and review. =)<em>


	3. Minute by Minute

I sat in the waiting room, hands wringing the hem of my shirt, waiting for the nurse to tell me I could see Gordo. He was stable, but still in a coma. He wouldn't be transferred from ICU until they knew he could make it through the night. Right now, the swelling in his brain was too dangerous to move him from ICU. I couldn't breathe whenever I thought about it. Mrs. Gordon hadn't left the hospital since she arrived ten minutes after the ambulance did.

She slept in a corner, lying against Howard's shoulder, his dark eyes staring forward blankly.

"I…I'm sorry." I whispered, looking over at his parents. "It's my fault."

"No, it was nobody's fault. I'm glad you weren't in the car with him. You wouldn't be here if you were," Howard smiled softly, rationalizing as he usually did. "David was lucky to survive that hit. I'm sure there was a reason he's still here."

"Mr. Gordon, did David ever mention me?" I don't know what kind of answer I was expecting, but the words were out before I could finish the thought.

"All the time. In fact, I don't think he ever shut up about you. I'd wager that almost all the boxes of films are of you or Miranda. He kept a picture of you with him everywhere he went. It's in the back of his wallet, sandwiched between two business cards. It was your 8th grade picture, the one you wrote _you rock, don't ever change_ on. He never took it out."

"I'm glad I met him. Even if this is the end." I whispered quietly, unsure of what to really say. "How long has it been since the accident?"

He checked his watch, smiling casually. "Six, seven hours? Elizabeth, if you go in there, remember one thing. Coma patients can hear what you say…and if anyone can get through to him, it would be you."

I nodded with a tiny smile, and then looked up at the nurse, signaling I was ready to go into the room.

Seventeen years old and he was already in worse condition than most teenagers from Hillridge. His left arm was in a cast, right eye a dark black; head bandaged in every which way covering his unruly hair, and his cheek was swollen on the left. I couldn't even imagine what caused this kind of damage, let alone think about it. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see a mental image of him, lying in the road, hurting.

Lying on the right hand side on a table was all of his personal effects. There was his wallet, complete with cash, and the image his dad had spoken of. Beside it was a silver chain with a Star of David on it. I'd gotten it for him for his Bar Mitzvah, unsure of what else to get a Jewish boy transitioning into manhood. I gently reached around and chained it on his neck, then looked away. "David Gordon, what can I say about you? I've known you for my entire life, and you're…the same dorky kid I always knew. But you were always smarter than this. I mean, going out and dying to get my attention? That's low."

I paused and looked for a reaction. Not even a twitch.

"But you know what? I don't think it would matter to me, because you're David freaking Gordon, the best movie director of all time. You'll be amazing when you get out of here." It occurred to me that his school would be put on hold for at least a month, if he didn't get better soon. How could I say he was a great movie producer? "Miranda got to Palm Springs safe; I bet that's a relief."

Still no reaction.

Finally, I knew I'd have to resort to tough measures and let my wall down. I sat down in the chair beside the bed, and began to cry. "Gordo, you can't die. Not yet. I haven't gotten to tell you all the amazing things about you. I haven't even gotten to say I'm sorry to you. I haven't gotten to dance with you at Miranda's wedding like you promised you would. I haven't gotten to hug you…I'm afraid to touch you right now. What if you shatter like glass?" That was an image I didn't need.

When all else fails, you try a more direct approach. "David Zephyr Gordon, if you don't wake up, I'm going to leave you forever, and I won't even think twice about it!"

Not even a blink.

* * *

><p>For nearly two months, that's where you'd find me. I'd be in that room, sitting in that same chair, doing the same things. Waiting for my best friend to wake up, even when I knew he wouldn't. I lost hope with each passing day. Although the swelling was almost nearly gone, I still couldn't bring myself to admit that this was my fault, no matter how it was looked at. I couldn't believe what I was doing.<p>

For two months I took care of him, doing what I had to in order to make him happy if he ever woke up. Even though he was in a coma, every now and then I could swear I saw the hint of a smile. Usually it was if I mentioned something stupid, or told him what Matt was up to. Now, as I sat beside him with a pair of scissors and trimmed his hair, I laughed quietly. "I always assumed I'd be doing this for my kids, not you."

No reaction.

"Gordo, you're such a terrible conversationalist." Then it occurred to me why this bothered me so much. Not because I felt guilty, but because Gordo never shut up. He was always talking about something. Now I was doing all the talking, and all he was doing was learning about me. "Your hair looks better longer." I commented quietly, putting the scissors down.

Sighing softly, I picked up the book beside his bed, and paged through it, finding the page I left off on. "It was almost as if the world stopped when he left. I couldn't fathom another day without him…"

* * *

><p>Just like that, time passed slowly until it was September 14th. I stayed in that room and sat there. The Gordon's had come long enough to say happy eighteenth birthday to their only child, then leave because Roberta couldn't handle it anymore. I sat, my hands folded, staring at the bed and willing for movement with my Jedi mind powers. Nothing happened. No twitches, no smiles, not even so much as a finger moving.<p>

I sat quietly in my chair, my heart racing as I thought of all the possible outcomes of this situation. The worst was that he wouldn't ever wake up. The second worst being that he forgets who I am. Third? I didn't even get that far. Truth was, I had three months to think about this, and the best I had come up with was he'd wake up and laugh it off like a joke.

Gordo was a prankster; I remember that from growing up. But he wouldn't joke about this. Neither would his parents. Not when he was running up a hospital bill of over a thousand dollars. I didn't believe anything like this could happen to us. We were all so childish and innocent, but this? This was a whole new level of horror.

I brought my knees to my chest and closed my eyes tightly, blowing out the candle on his cupcake. I know it wasn't my birthday, but I made a wish for him anyway. "Happy birthday, Gordo."

It was then that I realized that maybe…dreams couldn't come true after all.

* * *

><p><em>It's kind of rushed...I hope to fix that shortly.<em>


	4. Carrickfurgus

It's funny how you never realize you love someone until they're truly gone. Even now, September 15th, as I sat in Gordo's hospital room for what seemed like the hundredth time, I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that he wasn't waking up. And, like every other hundredth time, I still tried to get through to him. I sat by the bed, painting my toenails and waiting for Gordo, hoping he'd wake.

"I heard a funny story yesterday," I began to speak, my mind entering autopilot, as it often did these days anymore. "Matt was telling me about how he had a biology test this morning. He was going to come ask you for help, but then he remembered you weren't there. So instead, he went and copied one of your assignments. Well, it turned out that our old biology teacher, Mr. Evans, was still there. He recognized it right away as being yours and gave Matt extra homework."

I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I would wait for him to reply. Sometimes, the silence was so unbearable, I pretended he did anyway. This had been going on for nearly two months now. Every single day, I would wait in that room and I would talk to a ghost. I would will his blue eyes to open and tell me he was sorry for making me worry, but it was impossible. I wouldn't happen. And even now, my mom prepared me for the worst.

We still hadn't told Miranda.

I closed the bottle of nail polish and put it on the dresser beside the bed. It was where all my things had somehow made it, as if I was slowly moving into the room. My book was there, my nail polish, my car keys, all of it was there.

I couldn't bring myself to the reality of this specific situation. Gordo could really be gone. He could really never wake up. The gravity was so hard to fight, and I had nightmares about it, but I knew it was only a matter of time. In a year, if he wasn't awake, the chances of him waking were slim. The Gordon's had decided to give him until his twenty-first birthday. If there was no improvement by then, they would give up. Howard had already called and cancelled Gordo's first semester of college, though he didn't want to.

I stared at the tubes and wires and closed my eyes for a moment, making the thousandth wish that day that he'd wake up. "Gordo, please don't leave us. Too many of us count on you." Quietly, my gaze moved to the floor and I started counting tiles for the nineteenth time since I'd arrived there two months ago. "You know that, right?"

Shannon, the nurse, came in shortly after I spoke. She smiled feebly at me and looked at the comatose patient. "Liz, he'll wake up. I've never actually seen a coma patient die."

I smiled back and looked to the door. "Thanks, Shannon. I'll leave so you can give him a bath."

She nodded and looked back at the boy. "She really loves you, you know. She's the only person whom has been here every day since you arrived. It's really not fair to worry her like that."

Finally, someone was on my side.

* * *

><p>Roberta sat at the kitchen table, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Jo and Sam both sat across from her, watching her hands twitch. Jo reached out and put her hand over Roberta's. "I know it's a hard subject to talk about."<p>

"I'm so sorry, Jolene, it's just been so long since I've had to deal with a problem of this magnitude outside of work. And I had never in my life suspected it would be my own son. Admittedly, I always assumed it would have been Matt in this situation." She murmured, sipping the coffee gingerly.

"Matt would be a likely candidate," Sam mumbled. He slid the folder towards his end of the table and stared at the title. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yes, it's the best thing I can do. We can't afford his medical costs, it's too expensive, and the insurance won't cover it either. This is the only other thing I can think of." Roberta stared at the folder, praying he wouldn't open it. "We have one hundred thousand tucked away, but that was strictly for college purposes. It took years to get that much for him."

"It's alright, Bobbie. I'll help you. You're not totally alone." Jo answered, switching sides so she was beside her friend of twenty odd years. "Don't shut yourself out from this, though. Your son will need you."

"I know, dear. I've been trying to bring myself to go visit him, but my feet just won't let me. Every time I walk in there, it seems so real. It makes me realize that I may be planning his funeral sooner than his wedding."

"Lizzie is at the hospital with him right now. I'm not sure if she's helping or not, but she insists on being there every single day. She tells him how her life is going, she cuts his hair, she talks to him and reads him stories. They say it helps, because coma patients can hear, they just have no control over their body to tell you." Sam commented, opening the folder and staring at the photographs inside. "I think it's a pretty noble thing she's doing. She's a lot stronger than any of us, that's for sure."

"Do we have a case, Mr. McGuire?"

Sam was a lawyer, he had been for ten years or so. He just never really made it known to the kids what he did, to avoid the stigma at school. He paged through the photographs of the wreckage and put them back on the table, face down, so Gordo's mother wouldn't have to see that again. "I think we have a pretty solid case. You've talked to the Los Angeles police, right? Have they found the guy who did it yet?"

Roberta feebly shook her head. "No, they haven't. Howard suspects that the person who did it is terrified of being brought to court."

"I imagine that's likely so, but how can you hit someone head on, do that much damage, and walk away from it?" Sam asked, staring at the pictures again. "It just doesn't make sense. Are you sure David didn't hit a guard rail or something?"

"No. Look here, Sam, there's paint streaks across the front." Jo pointed out casually. "That's from another car."

Jo the artist, of course she would notice that. "It does seem awfully suspicious," Sam commented, tucking the photographs carefully back into the folder. "I'll definitely look into it. I have a little pull with the police department, perhaps they can help. What company towed the car?"

Roberta handed him a slip of paper with a number scribbled on it. "The ambulance called for a tow truck, the company is called Connor's. Ask for Douglass."

"I'll start there. I suspect both cars were towed to the same location. That much damage would make it damn near impossible to drive." Sam murmured as he grabbed his phone and keys off the table. He kissed Jo and smiled. "We'll figure this out, Roberta. I wouldn't let you down."

As Sam left, Jo sat with her friend and frowned. "Do you want a refill on your coffee, Bobbie?"

Roberta shook her head. "No, thank you. I do need to discuss something about Lizzie."

Jo tensed slightly and looked at her reflection on the table. "Is this about her being the cause of the accident?"

Roberta shook her head. "No, this isn't about her being the cause. I'm afraid she knows. I'm terrified that she's detached herself from reality for the sake of protecting him. Jolene, she talks to him…she even continues as if he answered. She's sick. It's the symptoms of a guilty conscience."

Jo's hands tensed slightly. "I know. I've noticed it, too." She looked up at Roberta. "You're the doctor, what can I do to help her?"

"She needs a familiar environment. Someone she recognizes that's a lot closer to her than any of us." Roberta smiled a little and handed Jo the bracelette that spelled out Miranda's name. "It might help her to have a friend to talk to."

Jo nodded. "I've been meaning to call her, but Lizzie keeps saying she wants to be the one to tell Miranda." Shaking her head she took the bracelet and stared at the intricate beading. Lizzie had made it for her best friend on the first day of middle school. Just before the party she wanted so badly to go to. "I remember this," She smiled and poked one of the beads. "She wished on every single one of these beads. I wonder if any of them came true."

Roberta's brown eyes watched Jo carefully, studying her movement. "I know Elizabeth is trying to help, but she's starting to become a hermit. It isn't good. She needs social interaction."

Jo nodded. "I'll call Miranda tonight. It's been put off long enough. She was David's friend, too."

* * *

><p>Larry answered on the second ring, recognizing the number almost immediately. When Jo's voice came over the line, shock crossed his mind. Lizzie's family hadn't bothered with her sicne she left for school. "Hi, this is Jo McGuire, is Miranda Sanchez in?"<p>

Larry turned to Miranda and gingerly handed her the phone. "Miranda, it's Lizzie's mom."

Miranda touched the phone, her hand shaking slightly. Maybe she just wanted to check in and see if she needed anything? "Hi, Mrs. McGuire," She answered with her usual perky tone, trying to hide her fear. "How is Lizzie doing? She hasn't talked to me since I left."

"Miranda, you need to sit down for this." Jo answered, cutting her off.

Miranda fell back into a chair and waited, fear clutching her heart. Was it Lizzie? "Is it Lizzie? Is she okay?" Larry reached over and took her hand, holding tight.

"Miranda, Gordo's been in an accident. He's in a coma. It happened after you left for the airport." Jo took a deep breath, definitely not approaching this how she was instructed to. "I need you to come home, Lizzie needs you. She's detached herself from reality, she's starting to sink into a fantasy world where nothing is wrong. I'm worried about her."

Miranda began to cry, her voice cracking when she tried to speak. "He's going to die, isn't he?" She asked, tears falling freely. "He can't die, she loves him. Tell me he's not going to die, Mrs. McGuire, promise me."

"I wish I could promise, Miranda. I really do. But I can't make a promise I can't keep. He hasn't responded to any stimuli. He's in such a deep coma, they're not even sure if he can wake up. Miranda, please come back for your friends." Jo pleaded.

"Why didn't Lizzie tell me?" Miranda croaked.

"She was afraid of what would happen. Please don't say anything about it, she's in a really sensitive mindset right now, she can't deal with the trauma right now. Just be here for her." Jo stammered. "I'll pick you up at the airport, I'll even buy your ticket."

Miranda was gone, Larry picked up the phone in her stead. "I'll go with her, if that's alright. I think she'll need my support." He stared at his girlfriend as she threw clothes hastily into a bag. Placing the phone between his ear and shoulder, he folded the clothes carefully and put them in the bag.

"Tudgmen, _stop_!" She sat on the bed and began to cry again. "I don't want to lose any of my friends, what if he dies?"

Larry paused. "Mrs. McGuire, I'll call you back. I'll pay for my ticket and Miranda's, just meet us at the airport in four hours." It was then that Larry was glad the company he worked for could charter him a plane. Though he had guessed he'd never actually use the service, now he was sure he would thank them. Cradling Miranda in his arms, he brushed a hand through her hair whispering softly. "Shh, Miranda, it will be okay. Coma's are just putting the body into hibernation so it can heal properly." He lied.

Miranda spent the entire plane ride focused on staring out the window. She couldn't even bring herself to speak to Larry, the man she loved. She couldn't imagine her life without her two best friends. If Gordo died, it was no secret that Lizzie would probably go with. "Did she tell you what happened?" Miranda asked, her voice merely above a whisper.

"Not completely. She said that he was heading to the airport, fixing to leave for New York early. She said something about him being distracted and having a head on accident. Miranda, I'm sure he'll be fine." Larry commented, taking her hand. "Trust me, I've never been wrong about something like this."

Miranda smiled softly and lay her head against his shoulder, calming her breathing. "I need to be completely calm to deal with this. I can't just go in there half cocked and start shooting things up. She needs me fully focused." Primping her hair as the plane came into the runway, she turned to Larry. "You'll be with me the whole time, right?"

"Of course." He kissed her lips softly. "I love you, mi Corazón."

When the plane landed, Miranda hurried to get off. When she found Jo, waiting in the lobby, her heart stopped. It all seemed so real now. The situation became harder to face. "Miranda, it's so good to see you again," Jo whispered, enveloping the girl into a hug and holding her close. "I'm so terribly sorry to call you on such short notice."

"No," Miranda whispered as well. "It's fine, I need to be here for both of them." She closed her eyes and sat in a chair outside of the terminal. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Sam is investigating it, but it's hard to tell so far." Jo commented, waving to Larry so he'd know where they are. He sat beside Miranda and looked to Mrs. McGuire. "From what we understand, he went to the airport to find Lizzie after she dropped you off. When he didn't find her, he came home and left a package for her. Mrs. Gordon said he exchanged some not-so-kind words with some boxes and left to go to New York early. On his way to New York, he'd gotten a text at a stop sign. When he went to read it, another car came into his lane and hit him."

"Sounds a little suspicious," Larry whispered. "Are you sure that's what happened?"

"Even if Gordo was texting and driving, it wouldn't matter. The person that hit him drove away…or at least ran without exchanging information. We can't find them." Jo commented. "So it's technically a hit-and-run offense."

Larry brushed back Miranda's hair and frowned. "What hospital is she at? And would you mind if we stay with you?"

"It's fine if you stay with us. It would be like old times." For the first time since the accident, Jo managed a smile, but it quickly faded when reality hit. "Gordo is at the Los Angeles Medical Center. Lizzie has been there every single day since he was admitted."

"I'll try to remind her that things aren't so bad," Miranda murmured. "But promises are hard to keep, Mrs. McGuire. If he dies, I can't promise I can stop her from killing herself."

Jo nodded. "I know. Mrs. Gordon is already helping me to avoid that. She thinks having you here will help a great deal. And for now…let's pray he doesn't die."

* * *

><p>I folded my arms over my chest and lay my head against Gordo's pillow, crying again for the first time in a week. My emotions had been a rollercoaster, and I couldn't think of what to do. I was running out of options and ideas. What could I do to get through to him? Finally, reality dawned on me. Mom had raised me to be a Disney princess, who hadn't heard of Sleeping Beauty? I brushed my hair back and leaned over, kissing him gingerly on the lips.<p>

What was I expecting to happen if he did wake up?

* * *

><p>This chapter is dedicated to Tomboy22 and theDJK because they requested more Miranda. Read and review. If you guys have any other ideas, feel free to message me and I'll try to work them in. The next chapter is from an unexpected point of view. =)<p> 


	5. A Love Without End, Amen

David Gordon sat with his young daughter, Emma Leigh, watching the snow fall from the porch. She was fascinated by the snow, her wide blue eyes lit up whenever she noticed it. Just moments before, she'd climbed from her spot in front of the television and plastered her face against the window in amazement. Gordo couldn't help but laugh at her behavior.

Emma was a year and six months old, and already had most of her baby teeth. She had long blonde hair like her mother, having been born with a full head. She had also gotten her father's stark blue eyes, which was one thing that Lizzie did _not _enjoy. It made Emma immune to discipline.

Emma began to writhe out of Gordo's arms. "Ka!" She shouted and pried herself from his arms. "Ka, ka!"

"Ka?" Gordo inquired, kneeling down to watch her.

She ran over to the window outside of the master bedroom, pointing to the candle. "Ka!"

"Oh, ka." Gordo sat and smiled, holding out his arms to Emma. "Alright, I'll tell you what the candle is for."

Emma stared up at him with big blue eyes and laughed. "Shoo shoo."

"Yes, Emma, you need to shush to hear the story." He bundled her tighter into her jacket and kissed her forehead. "It all started a long time ago..."

Emma curled close to his body for warmth and began to suck her thumb, listening to his soothing voice. "Gimp!"

He chuckled softly. "Yes, Gimp." He shushed her again and continued. "It was 165 BC. The Jewish temple, where Jews went to worship, was overtaken by bad guys and forced to worship Zeus." Gordo and Lizzie had taken up a practice of teaching Emma her heritage early, and never talking down on her. They refused to speak to her as if she was a child. Though Gordo did have a bad habit of 'dumbing' it down for her to understand. "Anyway, our people were afraid to fight back, they didn't know what would happen, and so they waited and waited. Finally, two years later, a man named Antiochus made the observance of anything Jewish punishable by death."

Emma gasped and hid under his jacket. Gordo laughed and tugged it to the side to see her pretty face. "Don't worry, Emma, this story has a good ending. You'll be happy. Do you want me to continue?"

Emma nodded and waited, sucking her thumb again.

"So in Modiin, a town near Jerusalem, the Jewish people began to fight in outrage of what was going on. In our heritage, we're not supposed to eat pigs." Emma's eyes grew wide and she gasped again. "I know! Who would eat pig? You love piggies, don't you?" In fact, Emma's favorite toy was a stuffed purple pig. "Anyway, the Greek soldiers forced our people to eat pig. A soldier demanded that Matthathias give in as well, but he was a high priest, and he didn't want to. Another villager stepped up and wanted to take his punishment, but this angered Mattathias, and he killed the villager…but that wasn't all. He also killed the soldier. His five sons and the rest of the villagers killed all of the remaining soldiers."

Emma crawled from his lap and dragged her piggy over to her so she could cuddle it and suck her thumb, listening to her father's story.

"Mattathias and the rest of the people willing to resist against these demands headed to the mountains. When the land was reclaimed, they became known as the Maccabees." Emma smiled; he knew she understood that name. "Once the Maccabees regained control, they returned to the temple in Jerusalem. Unfortunately, the whole temple had been defiled and destroyed by the praising of Zeus. Well, the Jewish people were determined to purify the temple by burning ritual oil in the temple for eight days." Gordo gasped, going along with the story. "Oh no, Emma! There was only enough oil for _one _day!"

Emma gasped with him, clutching her piggy tighter. "GA!"

"I know! It's a shock, isn't it?" Gordo laughed and kissed her head. "But I told you this had a good ending, didn't I?" Emma nodded and blue eyes locked for a brief moment of understanding. "Well, the Jews lit the Menorah anyway, and it managed to last for _eight whole days _anyway. That's why that candle is in the window. It faces the street to spread the light of _Jehovah _or, _God _to the world."

Emma looked up at him again, blue eyes shining. "Jo!"

He nodded and huddled her close to him. "Mommy's going to come pick us up soon so we can go visit grandma and grandpa. Are you excited to see them again?" Emma nodded enthusiastically. "I thought you would be. Do you want to see Uncle Matt and aunt Melina?"

Emma laughed, clapping her hands in excitement. "Gad ma nnaaaaaa!"

Ruffling her hair slightly, Gordo kissed her head again and smiled. "I see what you did there. But I don't think mommy has anything to do with this."

"Nah gab maw."

"I didn't say that, now did I? Don't be putting words in my mouth, missy." Emma sulked, putting her foot down with a frown. Before Gordo could say another word, a chunk of snow connected solidly with his back. "Emma!"

Emma threw her hands straight up to signify she didn't do it. "Ma!"

Gordo turned to look where Emma was looking. Sure enough, Lizzie stood, tossing a ball of snow in the air casually. Never mess with an athletic woman, he'd admonished. But for some reason, toying with Lizzie wasn't so farfetched to him. As she went to throw another snowball, Gordo grabbed Emma. "I have the baby!"

Lizzie froze, holding the icy ball in her hand. "You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I? You wouldn't throw a snowball with your precious Emma nearby, now would you? The risk of hitting her is much too high, and with the spray of the snow, who knows? You could potentially blind her." Emma looked at her dad, watching his lips move. She yanked his curls and laughed when he winced. "Bad plan?"

"Oh, yes," Lizzie commented, reaching out carefully to take the child. "Sorry I left you guys sitting here so long. The car wouldn't start."

"It's alright. I'll look at it when we get there. I was telling Emma about her heritage." Gordo commented, shoving his hands in his pockets idly. He kicked at the snow as he walked, wondering if his life was so perfect, why did it feel like there were chunks missing?

"Next we get to teach her about Santa Clause." Lizzie laughed. "I think she already knows who he is."

"Yeah." Gordo felt a little upset that they hadn't taught Emma sooner. It seemed like Lizzie put his religion on the backburner and decided the family would be Christian. He wouldn't be forcing Emma to choose, like his parents had. That was one thing about his parents both marrying into their religion. There was no choosing. But Emma had to. He wouldn't ask Lizzie to convert, nor would Lizzie ask him. There were so many similarities in the religions, there was no reason to. It was just the holiday practices. She had Passover Dinner, he had Seder. It was like two different worlds, and he was terrified of confusing Emma with it.

"You're worried, aren't you?" Lizzie inquired, placing Emma in her car seat with her pig firmly strapped with her. She closed the door and turned to Gordo once Emma was strapped in place. "You don't want to confuse her."

"She doesn't need to be a practicing Jew, Lizzie. I just want her to know what it's all about."

"Isn't she a little young for all this confusion?" Lizzie asked carelessly.

Gordo folded his arms and leaned against the car. "No, it's not. You remembered Santa from when you were what, six? You told me you remembered falling down the steps that morning because you wanted to show Santa your Christmas presents." Gordo frowned. "That means that Emma Leigh will remember."

"No she won't." Lizzie whispered.

"Exactly! You just proved my point. She _won't _remember this, because it's boring. What kid _wants _to learn about Jewish tradition? I know I didn't. But now that I did, and growing up with that, I want to pass that on to her. It's her life, I won't force her to have a bat mitzvah, but I wish she'd at least take it seriously." Gordo commented, watching his wife. "I sacrificed tradition to be with you, Lizzie. I don't want to sacrifice religion to stay with you."

"So you're saying your religion is more important than our marriage?" Lizzie demanded, throwing her hands in the air. "Are you implying that you didn't want to sacrifice marriage for me, Gordo? Because I was under the assumption you loved _me _and not my _religion_!"

Gordo decided to avoid the fight and get in the car. The entire drive to the airport was in silence. It was even quieter as they went through security. And when they got on the plane, not a word was exchanged between them. Emma, in the middle seat between them, looked between her mother and father. "Ka?"

Gordo raised a brow and stared down at Emma, then turned to Lizzie. "Has she ever said that word to you?"

"No." Lizzie huffed, folding her arms. "Why?"

Gordo dug through their diaper bag for a picture book he'd intended to read to Emma that his father got for him as a kid. He opened the page to a large picture of a menorah and held it out to Emma. Emma laughed and pointed at it. "Ka!"

"Ka?" Lizzie asked, leaning towards them. "What is Ka?"

"I'm not sure. She was saying it today when we were sitting on the porch. I wonder if it's how she says Menorah." Gordo shook his head. "That sounds pretty stupid, now that I think about it."

Emma shouted again. "Ka!"

"Chanukah?" Gordo asked, staring at his daughter again.

Emma nodded. "Ka!" She pointed to the pendant on Gordo's neck, and then tugged on it until the chain snapped.

Lizzie's eyes widened. She knew how much that meant to him. Immediately she was on her knees looking for the charm. Gordo began to search, too, until he noticed Emma hadn't moved. Her hand went to the book, where she held the charm and pointed to a similar image in the book. "Ka."

Gordo stood slowly, looking at the child. "Emma, please give that back to me. It's important."

Emma looked up at him, her big blue eyes enough to make Lizzie stop what she was doing on the floor. "Emma, you know better than to take things that aren't yours. Give it back to daddy."

Emma beat her hand on the page, the charm bouncing with each movement. "KA!"

Gordo blinked, looking to the book. He gently took the charm into his hand and stared at it. "No, Emma, this is a _Star of David_, it's not the same thing."

Emma sucked her thumb and pointed to the book. "Ka."

Gordo stood still, the charm suddenly weighing heavy in his hand. "You want me to tell you the story again?"

Emma nodded and brought her knees up, cuddling with her piggy. "Ja."

Then it dawned on him. Emma couldn't say full words, so she tried her best to say them. Sometimes it meant little words in place of bigger words. "Jehovah. Ja."

Emma nodded her smile wide and crooked. "Ka ja."

Lizzie sat beside Emma, shock written all over her face. "Gordo, you taught her all of this in ten minutes?"

"I'm not entirely sure how that worked," Gordo commented, breathless with shock. "Lizzie, she understands us just fine. It's just that we don't understand her."

* * *

><p>Emma kicked her feet in the stroller as Lizzie pushed it through the sidewalks of California. It was good to be home. The child had never been to California, the grandparents always came to her. Emma cuddled her stuffed pig, her eyes droopy from flying so long. Lizzie had made sure to give her some Benadryl to make her sleep for the four hours that weren't occupied with talking. Gordo had gone through the history of Judaism twice before Emma started to fall asleep. Each time, Lizzie learned something new about Gordo's culture that she didn't know before.<p>

"Your dad gave you that necklace at your bar mitzvah, didn't he?" Lizzie suspected, leaning on the stroller carelessly.

"No," Gordo commented. "That's wrong. You did. You gave it to me at graduation." He never took it off, not until Emma broke the chain. And even now, he refused to let it go.

"Little details, I suppose." Lizzie whispered, walking along the road until she reached his parent's house. "Let day two of Chanukkah begin."

"Elizabeth, are you okay?" Gordo never used her full name. Not even if he had to. "Lizzie?"

"I'm fine, why?"

He shrugged. "It's just not like you to forget little details like that. Especially when you're the one who gave it to me. Are you sure you're okay? Are you stressed or sick?"

"I'm fine, David." Lizzie hissed.

"You…never call me that."

It was the first time since she came back to him that he began to really wonder what was going on. _David_? She never called him that. Not even when they were kids. Something was definitely going on that he couldn't explain.

* * *

><p>I just want to start off by saying I am <em>not <em>Jewish. The story Gordo told to Emma may or may not be incorrect. I just used what I was told and modified it to a children's version. The name Emma-Leigh is actually just something I liked. I adore the name Emma...It's actually Emma-Leigh Ruth Gordon. Emma for short. It's pronounced Emily, if you didn't know lol. The idea for Emily came from my brother's daughter...umm...Emily. LOL! She's a mixture of Emily and Livia, both of which are my nieces.

Also, this chapter isn't meant to confuse anyone - it's just what Gordo is thinking/feeling right now. Don't think I skipped any chapters. XD

I'm dedicating this chapter to the following people (which is not something I normally make a practice of doing):

**HilaryDroxursox: **"Prom Night" is probably my addiction right now. I'm totally in love with it. Thanks for reviewing. =)  
><strong>Tomboy22: <strong>You...what do I say to you? LOL! You've been keeping me pushing on since I started this. When I felt like giving up, you sent me a message and kept me going. I promise there will be more Miranda. ^_^

Also, if you guys haven't yet, check out "Prom Night" by HilaryDroxursox, and "Can You See Me Now?" by Woemcat, they're my two obsessions right now.

_**Just for kicks, this was posted on 11/11/11 at 11:11 Eastern Time. =)**_


	6. Science and Faith

The alarm flashed and beeped signaling to the blonde in the bed that it was now six am. She'd already overslept this long, and was likely late for her 'date' at the hospital. Every single morning she was left wondering the same thing; was it all a dream? Would she wake up and still be in high school? Things had to change, didn't they?

She threw the covers to the side and shook her head, looking out the window. The sun was bright and vibrant, the first colors of the morning gracing the sky, but she couldn't bring herself to really admire the sunshine.

She was sitting down to brush out her hair when she heard a soft tap at her door. Half expecting it to be her mom, she jumped when she noticed it was Miranda. "Miranda!"

"Hey, Lizzie." She smiled quietly and looked into the mirror where Lizzie was currently staring at her reflection. "I came back to visit for the holidays."

"It's only September," Lizzie commented casually, acting like nothing was wrong.

"Larry got a job offer at a big computer company in San Jose, so he came back for an interview. He asked me to come with him, so I'm here, visiting."

Since the last time Lizzie had been caught making out with a guy, she'd gotten much better at lying to her best friend – but she still couldn't lie to her parents. She smiled brightly and watched Miranda, handing the other girl the brush. Miranda instinctively took it and began to braid Lizzie's hair. "That's cool, I'm glad you and Larry are happy together." Lizzie looked up at Miranda's reflection in the mirror. "Living together must be pretty weird."

"We're staying with Gordo's parents, so it's not so strange." Miranda commented.

Lizzie tensed when Gordo's name was mentioned. Instead she kept the same fake smile plastered on her face. "Yeah, he's been away for a while. I kind of miss him."

Miranda nodded. "I missed you too. You haven't been on Skype lately; I figured you were mad at me or something."

"Just…busy." Lizzie lied.

"How are classes going?" Miranda ushered.

Lizzie folded her arms and leaned back. "Better, I guess. Not as stressful as it used to be," She turned away, green eyes watching her best friend work magic in her hair. "Miranda, have you ever considered coming home?"

"Once or twice, but being home is just…not a good idea right now." Miranda leaned over and smiled to Lizzie, finishing the braids. "Want to go to the mall today?"

"I-I can't." She whispered. "I have to do something."

Miranda looked defeated. "Alright, well…I'll be over at the Gordon's if you need me." She hugged Lizzie quickly and left.

* * *

><p>After Miranda left, Lizzie ate a quick breakfast and headed out to the hospital, ready to see her other best friend, feeling like she owed it to him. It was then that she saw Miranda coming down the hall. Lizzie froze, turning on her heel to walk away. Miranda ran towards her, waving. "Hey, what are you doing here?"<p>

"I-I…I volunteer here." Lizzie lied again, looking to the nurse with a nod.

Shannon nodded back, and then went back to typing as if Lizzie hadn't spoken at all.

Miranda casually watched the two exchange looks, and then wondered what she was missing. "Lizzie, are you lying to me?"

"No! I can't lie to you, you know that!" The blonde fumbled for words, hoping and praying she didn't notice. "Miranda, you're my best friend, how can I lie to you?"

"I know about Gordo." Miranda whispered, sitting in one of the chairs in the hallway. She folded her hands together and closed her eyes. "Your mom told me."

"You know what? That he's okay? He's at school in New York and is really busy?" Lizzie inquired casually, still trying to lie. "He sent me a message after he left…"

"Lizzie, stop lying." Miranda growled, finally losing her temper. "They told me to be sensitive to the situation, but I can't stand you lying to me. I'm your best friend for heaven sake!" Miranda put her foot down, black hair flying as she spoke. "You promised me after I caught you kissing Andrew Leightman that you'd stop lying to me. What happened to you? Is this what you've become?"

Lizzie shrunk into the chair beside Miranda, seeming to fold in on herself. She whimpered softly, and then began to cry. "I pretend nothing is wrong, because the reality of the situation is much worse than anything else. I can't bring myself to admit something is terribly wrong, Miranda. We're missing a key part of our group."

Miranda turned to Lizzie, her eyes shining brightly with tears. "Lizzie, it's time to stop suffering. One of the things about Gordo is that he'd never want you to be sad." She looked away. "He told me something once."

Lizzie looked up at her, green eyes begging for reassurance. "What?"

"I asked him why he never asked you out, why he never told you he loved you. He said it was because you always assumed that he was happy without you…then he followed it up with this," She took a deep breath. "You won't find faith or hope down a telescope, you won't find heart and soul in the stars. You can break everything down to chemicals, but you can't explain a love like ours."

Lizzie gasped.

"He said he would gladly wait a thousand years for you, if that's what it took. He's loved you since day one, Lizzie. Open your eyes and realize that. And when you do, maybe then the real magic can start happening." Miranda looked down at her hands. "Don't suffer for him, live for him. No girl wants a man who would die for her and leave her lonely; she wants the fairytale that lasts forever."

"Then why did he die?" Lizzie asked, words breaking when she started to cry.

"He's not dead yet. And giving up hope on him is the worst thing you can ever do. When you were running for class president, when it looked like you'd never win, he kept pushing for you. When you felt like you were failing, he helped you. When you didn't think you could do anything, he supported you in anything you joined. Lizzie, he's never _ever _lost faith in you. Losing faith in him is losing faith in you." Miranda announced bitterly. "He tried to get you to see him, but you only ever saw him as a nobody. But he's not a nobody to you, is he? No, he's a somebody."

Lizzie nodded and touched her hand to stop the trembling. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I missed you, 'Randa."

Miranda hugged her best friend and held her tight, brushing a hand maternally through her hair, like her mother did for her so many times. "Reality can be painful sometimes, and the truth hurts, but if there's one thing I know about life, it's that it gets better. Maybe not now, maybe not right away, but it _will _get better. And you need to hold onto faith, stay strong, and don't give up on him. He loves you, he won't leave you lonely."

The blonde nodded and stood, holding out her hand to Miranda. "Have you visited him yet…?"

"No," Miranda looked up, brown eyes twinkling with mischief. "I was waiting for you to tell me what you were lying about."

Lizzie jabbed her and laughed quietly. "You already knew, you snarky little derk."

As they turned the corner, Lizzie stopped at the door and looked at the window. "Only one of us can go in at one time, unless we're the parents."

Miranda nodded and looked at Lizzie. "I'll go in first."

* * *

><p>Miranda sat in the chair where Lizzie sat so many times before. She watched the male in the hospital bed, his breathing shallow. The mask fogged as he breathed, the machine doing most of it for him. She crossed her legs and touched his hand, closing her eyes and saying a quick prayer in Spanish. "She needs you back now, so hurry up and get better."<p>

Reaching into her jacket pocket, she pulled out the silver band with the inset sapphire that was found in the wreckage of the car. "Your mom asked me to hold onto this, so whenever you're ready, you can come back for it." She pressed it against his hand so he knew what she was referring to. "I think Lizzie is ready to say yes, so you don't have to wait anymore."

Miranda was already aware there wouldn't be much reaction. And she didn't have the heart to wait there for anything, or look, for that matter. She put the ring back into her pocket and looked away, wanting to not see the image of her best friend anymore. It was terrible. He barely even looked the same anymore. "Gordo, you never were reckless, but texting and driving? Are you insane?"

Miranda had also gotten the phone from the car wreckage, even though it was technically evidence, she read the last text, it was saved as a draft when it didn't send.

_To: Liz  
>Subject: Urgent<br>I love you, Lizzie. I always have. If you still want to go to college in Arizona or abroad, I support you…just don't leave me wondering if you'll ever come back. I need you in my life, just like you need me. –G_

* * *

><p>Sam entered the kitchen where Matt was currently trying to make a salt shaker stand on its edge. He shook his head and looked to Jo, sipping her tea casually. "I got it."<p>

"Got what?" Jo inquired, looking at the envelope in Sam's hands. "Is that—?"

"David Gordon's case file? Yes, it is. Eduardo is working with me on it; he said since Miranda came back, he feels like he owes it to me as a favor. It turns out that being a low-level police officer _does _have its payoffs." Sam placed the folder on the table and opened the first page. Photographs littered the folder, mostly ones he had to turn over because of the graphic nature. "The police report says it wasn't his fault. It says that he was traveling north bound when a red SUV took a turn too wide and swerved into his lane of travel. For whatever reason, Gordo was distracted and couldn't move in time."

"But where is the other car and why aren't they in the hospital?" Matt asked, leaning over to look at the pages. "Wouldn't that mean that someone else was hurt?"

"An SUV could survive that impact much better than Gordo's little Ford Focus could." Sam commented, paging through the files some more. "But I could be wrong, too. Eduardo says that there was a camera in his car; he forgot to turn off the video. They're processing it today, so we'll know for a fact what happened."

"Is it possible he was actually texting?" Matt asked.

Jo already knew the answer, as did Sam, but neither had told Matt. "It's possible, but not an option to consider. Lizzie _cannot _know about any of this. She's in too much of a delicate situation as it is. It's even worse that she wants to go home."

Jo shrieked. "She _is _home!"

"No, Jolene. She wants to go to _her _home." Sam corrected. "She wants to go to a place where she can remember the last time she was alone with him."

Jo turned bright pink. "You mean they—"

"NO!" Sam shouted. "She just wants to go where they were last, before they came here. She said he left some stuff there."

Matt turned to his mother and shook his head. "She's not a slut, mom."

"Where is Gordo's cell phone?" Jo asked, changing the subject.

"It was here…I guess Eduardo has it. I'll have to call him later. I'll need it for evidence. Has Miranda called?"

"Yes," Jo finished, looking at the last call on her cell phone. "She says that she talked to Lizzie, she seems to be doing better, but she still wouldn't recommend leaving her alone. Lizzie is still pretty shaken up." Jo sighed. "My baby is so depressed. I hope he wakes up soon…"

"What if he doesn't?" Matt asked, clearly not thinking about the words.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Jo and Sam shouted at the same time.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for switching point of view. I have difficulty writing in the first person; it was beaten out of my head in English 116 lol! So, yeah, here's the next chapter.<em>

_**The confusion about chapter 5 was not intentional**__. In fact, Tomboy22 seems to have figured it out pretty quick. I remember watching an episode of So Weird when I was little where they were talking about a coma patient and how he lived his entire life in the dreams he had, and it turned out he was only in a coma for a week or so. This is probably my favorite chapter so far. Only because of Miranda. XD_

_And, as requested, I managed to work her in again._

_Any other requests, feel free to ask about it. As for if Gordo has woken up yet – well, no. The last chapter wasn't meant to be posted yet, but I wanted to post something and couldn't find anything else already written. Thus, I used that one. I'll probably jump back and forth with his thoughts (dreams rarely ever are in sequence)._

_Oh! The quote that Miranda used; you won't find faith or hope down a telescope, you won't find heart and soul in the stars. You can break everything down to chemicals, but you can't explain a love like ours. Is from a song called "Science and Faith" by The Script. Amazing song, amazing band, I'll probably be borrowing some of those for titles. (All chapters are song titles, by the way)_

_Oh yeah, and Eduardo is a police officer. Creative liberties, yo._

_**ALSO, and this is IMPORTANT, I'm starting work on the 16**__**th**__**, so I'll be working 40 hour weeks. I SHOULD have at least one day free each week, but I CANNOT promise I can update as frequently. I apologize in advance for any delays.**_


	7. If You Ever Come Back

**If You Ever Come Back**

Lizzie sat at the cluttered kitchen table in her apartment, listening to the radio announce a freak snowstorm in Washington somewhere. She absently wondered if Gordo would be playing in the snow in New York if he was still able to. She pushed her hair behind her ears, then wrapped her cold hands around a mug of warm coffee, watching Miranda dance around the kitchen, humming some tune in Spanish. She couldn't help but feel jealous every time Larry was in the same room with her.

"So," Miranda finally said, sitting across from Lizzie with a glass of tea. "What's on your agenda for today?"

"God, I don't know," Lizzie whispered, defeated. "Perhaps go to the store, since Larry mentioned that there's a severe lack of food in my apartment."

"We can do that. Why not stop by and see Gordo for a little bit? Maybe he's made some progress since the last time." Every time Miranda mentioned _progress _Lizzie would flinch. There wasn't any change. There hadn't been for five months now. Why would today be any different than day one? She nonchalantly sipped her tea, trying to keep her best friends' spirits high. "It's November, you know."

It was as if Lizzie was missing days, she was stuck hiding in a façade that wasn't real. She didn't understand the importance of it being November. "…what's in November?" Lizzie inquired softly, tapping the glass to watch the amber liquid ripple.

"Thanksgiving, your favorite holiday." Miranda mumbled, trying to remind Lizzie of what was to be thankful for. "You know what Thanksgiving is about, right, Lizzie?"

Lizzie nodded, folding her arms. "Being thankful."

"And what are you thankful for?" Miranda inquired, acting as if Lizzie was her little sister. "I know there's got to be something."

"I'm thankful that I have a friend like you," Lizzie commented quietly. "And I'm thankful for each day that passes and I learn something new."

"I'm thankful that Gordo didn't die, that he still has a fighting chance. I'm thankful that he's still able to be here with us. I'm thankful that there's still time to change your mind." Miranda slipped and quieted in the last few words. "I'm thankful that you know he loved you."

"It's funny. Now that he's not able to speak, I'm learning more about him than I ever would have if he was awake." Lizzie whispered, tapping the table. "If he was here, he'd be talking nonstop about whatever was the topic of conversation, and I'd never get to know about him."

"His favorite color is blue," Miranda added.

"See! I didn't know that!" Lizzie shouted in disbelief. "What time does Larry get off of work?"

Miranda checked her watch and frowned. "Six. Do you want to go to the hospital, and then spend a day out? I think you need to get your mind off of all of this."

Lizzie looked away for a moment, her breathing shallow. "Miranda, I'm so terrified that if I'm not there, he's going to wake up."

"Who cares? At least then you know he's awake." Miranda commented, tugging Lizzie's hand and dragging her to the door. "Come on, let's go visit him. Then we'll go to the mall."

* * *

><p>Lizzie smiled to Shannon when the nurse told them that she could go into the room. They had finally agreed that two people weren't too many visitors. She entered the room, looking at all the stuff that hadn't moved since he arrived there five months ago. She looked down at the tiles on the floor, and then smiled back at his sleeping form. "Shannon told me you can hear me. She said that you respond to people now."<p>

Miranda looked over at Lizzie, shock written on her features. "He's awake?"

"No," Lizzie whispered. She stepped over to him and touched his hand. Suddenly the heart monitor began to spike higher. "It's the little things, she says. The things that we think are so insignificant are the things he misses the most. Shannon works with Marines. She said there was one who came in several years ago, deaf from a bomb that went off near his head. He said one of the things he missed the most was his wife humming to him when she was happy. Or his daughter reading to him. He said the entire time he was over there, all he wanted was to help his wife with the dishes, or see his daughter do her homework. The little things."

Miranda sat in the chair and watched Lizzie moving about the room. The blonde was primping the flowers, shuffling books, closing the curtains. Miranda turned to look at Gordo when she noticed something very strange. "Lizzie, stop."

Lizzie stopped and turned to look at Miranda. When she saw where her eyes were looking, Lizzie looked, too.

His hand was moving.

Miranda watched, shocked. "He's looking for your hand, Lizzie."

Lizzie put her hand in his and waited. Gordo gave her a reassuring squeeze, as if to say he was still there, but there wasn't much else from him. Lizzie began to cry. It was the first real sign of life that they'd gotten since he arrived. Miranda ran to get a nurse, informing her of what had happened.

Shannon came into the room, stopping to look between the two girls. "It seems he's starting to wake, let me go find the doctor for you."

* * *

><p>Lizzie took a few steps back and waited by the window, her hand pressed firmly against her mouth. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She stood beside Miranda, the brunette watching with dark eyes. If he woke up, would he remember them? Could he tell her what happened? She shook her head and turned to Lizzie. "It's going to be okay, Lizzie."<p>

Lizzie nodded and brushed her hair back, worried. "He didn't speak, he didn't say anything. Miranda, what if he doesn't remember us?"

"Clearly he remembers you," Miranda commented casually, folding her arms. The doctors were blocking their view, so Miranda couldn't quite see what was going on.

Miranda looked up when she heard footsteps running through the hallway. The nurse turned to Lizzie and Miranda. "We took the liberty of calling his parents. Unfortunately, we can only have two visitors at a time…"

Miranda nodded. "I'll leave."

As Miranda left, Mrs. Gordon came into the room. She backed away from the doctors. Staring blankly at her only child, she turned to Lizzie. "Elizabeth?"

Lizzie gave the woman a hug. "Hi, Mrs. Gordon. I don't know what's happening, I wish I did." She started to tremble. "Miranda said he was awake."

One of the doctors leaned over with a pen light. "Can you tell me your name?" He inquired.

Gordo blinked, focusing hard on the doctor asking him the question. His brows drew together in concentration. He tried to speak but no words would come out.

Roberta's eyes widened. "David!" She tried to run forward, but the nurse pushed her back slightly. "I want to see my son!"

The doctor moved out of the way so they could see each other. Roberta wasn't sure who she was looking at anymore. He was still her son, but she couldn't recognize anything beyond his pained expression. Blue eyes full of fear, she knew he was upset. "Right now we can't tell the extent of his mental injuries. He may or may not be able to speak."

Roberta began to cry. "But that would mean he needs to relearn everything!"

"With patience and time, I'm sure it will be a speedy recovery," the doctor explained. "He should be able to, at the very least, recognize his surroundings."

Gordo looked around, finally seeing who he was looking for; standing quietly in the background, shock on her face. He couldn't speak to her, he tried, but the words just didn't want to enter his mind. It was as if he forgot everything, even the simple tasks. Instead, he reached his hand out towards her, suddenly feeling very weak.

Lizzie took a step forward, taking his hand. "I've missed you. I thought you'd never be with us again. I didn't want to say goodbye." Lizzie sat on the edge of his bed, lacing her fingers in his. "I've missed you so much."

Roberta smiled softly at the scene, still crying. At least he'd gotten what he wanted from the start. Even though the doctors told her there was still a slim possibility of him making it, Roberta held out hope for her only son. "David, I'm so glad you're with us again."

He looked to his mother and tilted his head slightly, then nodded. The doctor hadn't removed the breathing tube because they weren't entirely sure he could breathe on his own yet. If he couldn't speak, it wasn't likely he could breathe on his own. Though, it was quite difficult to speak with a tube down his throat. He looked away for a moment, trying to avoid jerking his head too much because of the pain. Lizzie still sat beside him, where she hadn't moved. "She hasn't left your side," Roberta explained. "She's been here every single day."

He smiled a little, and then closed his eyes.

"Baby, are you tired?" Roberta inquired, taking a few steps towards him. "I can't imagine you were sleeping that entire time." She brushed his hair back slightly and gingerly kissed his forehead. "Get some sleep. We'll be here when you wake up."

* * *

><p>Lizzie sat in the hallway, listening to the doctor's speaking. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He'd made an almost complete recovery in the few months he'd been here, but there was still some fear for his life. Doctor Miller explained to Roberta and Howard that they may need to put him back under if his CT scans weren't promising. If the swelling was completely gone, then he could report to therapy and start re-learning everything he forgot.<p>

The CT scan was scheduled as soon as he woke up.

Lizzie looked over when Roberta sat beside her.

"Are you religious?" Roberta inquired, looking to the blonde carbon copy of her mother.

"Not really, no." Lizzie replied, watching Howard pace the halls.

Roberta nodded. "Now might be a good time to start."

"Why?"

"Although David is awake now, they aren't entirely certain of his capacity for memory. He may have no memory at all, or he may have no short term memory. He may be permanently hurt, or not at all. The CT scan is to be done in the next few hours…if it comes back negative, he'll need to be put back under, in a medically induced coma. Their main concern is the swelling." Roberta quietly answered. "Elizabeth, please pray with me."

Lizzie didn't argue, it felt right for some reason. She closed her eyes and took Roberta's hands.

* * *

><p>Howard held his trembling wife as she cried. The CT scan had come back less than promising. There was still too much swelling to allow him to be on his own. She knew Lizzie took it the hardest. Roberta tried to comfort the teenager, but she kept pushing her away. "You said praying would help." Lizzie hissed.<p>

"Faith can bring a way to the impossible," Roberta replied. "And it can certainly make miracles possible, but there's still something we must learn."

"What kind of God says he loves everyone, and then takes away one of the best people in the world?" Lizzie shouted. "An unfair one!"

Howard glared at Lizzie. "I know that you may not be having the best day ever – but were it not for you, he would have never woken up in the first place." He rationed, closing his eyes a moment. They were the same bright blue as Gordo's. "Not all is lost, you see, because he may remember you, but not us."

Lizzie shook her head, blonde curls flying every which way. "No! Because he didn't remember any of us. He remembered me simply because I never left his side, and I spoke to him, and read to him. Where were _you _when he was gone? Where were you when he needed you most!"

Howard gently let go of Roberta and took a step towards Lizzie. "Don't you ever imply that I don't love my son. He has been more than capable of doing things on his own since before you can remember. Recovery is not something I want to hinder or stop, because in order for him to make progress, then those professionals need to do _their _work. Being here for him in my way is not the same as being here for him in your way. You're young; you can put your life on hold. I, however, have a job, and cannot do so. So, indeed, I am here when I can be. I may not be here as much as I should have been, but I was here for him. I'm positive he knows such, as well. However, we assumed that since he was talking about proposing to you before he left the house that night, that maybe it would speed his recovery by having you there instead." Howard paused, glaring at Lizzie with eyes so familiar. "Did it not?"

Lizzie took a step back, her voice lowering. "He…"

"He spoke to his mother before he left for New York. He wanted to find you at the airport to propose to you. When you were nowhere to be found, he went to the airport assuming that you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He got into an accident because of _you_." Howard commented bitterly.

Roberta stood, cutting off Howard where he was. "It wasn't her fault."

"You mean to tell me that text they found on his phone wasn't meant for her?" Howard announced.

Suddenly, Miranda felt like taking the phone from evidence was a bad idea. Protecting Lizzie wasn't so good when she was letting them tear her apart. She stood and ran to Lizzie, taking her by the arm. "Lizzie, ignore them. They're upset."

"No," Lizzie whispered. "It was my fault. How could I not have seen it sooner? Miranda, he never left my side. He was always there." She closed her eyes and looked away. "He probably was texting me. I had five failed texts that day. They only came through partially, so I couldn't see what he was saying. It was just gibberish."

Miranda held out Gordo's dark blue cell phone in her palm. "I stole it from evidence. We'll bring it back, but you need to read what he tried to send you."

Lizzie paged through the texts. _I love you, I always have_… Then, her entire world went dark.

* * *

><p>"What happened to Lizzie?" Jo demanded, looking at Miranda for answers. The hospital staff had called saying she collapsed. "Was she overtired?"<p>

"Gordo woke up this morning." Miranda answered.

"Oh my God, that's great news! So why isn't she with him? Miranda, is my baby okay?" Jo inquired, sitting beside her.

Miranda held out the cell phone to Sam. "I think you were looking for this." Sam graciously took it and looked at Miranda as she continued speaking. "Lizzie started yelling at Gordo's parents about how they didn't care because they weren't there for them. His dad told her about what he said before he left…and how she was the cause of the accident. I guess it got to be too much for her…The next thing I know, she was on the floor."

"What about Gordo? Is he okay?" Sam asked, looking to Howard sitting quietly by himself.

"They said he'll have to be put into a drug induced coma, because the swelling in his brain still hasn't gone down. Outside it has, but on the inside, it's still pretty bad. They're concerned that he won't wake up this time." Miranda closed her eyes and leaned back. "There's so much going on right now…I don't think any of it is easy to get over. Lizzie is suffering just as much as his parents are – but in her case, it's because she never knew. His dad said she was the cause…"

Jo nodded and hugged Miranda close. "Be here for Lizzie. I'll go talk to Gordo's parents."

That's when Miranda realized that she'd been the cause of this whole mess. Maybe there was no going back.

* * *

><p><em>Expect some drama for the next couple chapters. Can't have a revelation like that without some drama. Please don't get mad at me for what I'm going to do next. I only have two reviewers anyway, so I doubt it would matter if I lost them, but I'm updating for you guys. I'm trying my best not to let this story become like my others, so I'm writing as I go instead of planning it. The drama won't last forever, just until Lizzie gets over the fact that she was the cause of the accident. Eventually Sam will figure out what really happened. Oh, and Miranda thinks she was the cause of the fight, but she's a little less dense about stuff like that.<em>

_Please read and review. Ideas are much appreciated._

_-Kitt_


	8. Cat and Mouse

**Cat and Mouse**

It was the night before graduation, Lizzie sat huddled on the couch in her apartment. When she turned seventeen, she decided she was 'too old' for her family, and with her mother and father's permission, moved out on her own. Her apartment wasn't much far from where they lived, just a few blocks away, so that if anything ever happened they could check in on her. She sat on the old worn out blue couch, her feet drawn up to her chest, holding a mug of hot chocolate.

She was watching Casablanca with the subtitles on, absently noting that Gordo was humming around the kitchen. Quietly muting the TV, she placed the mug on the table and turned to look over her shoulder. "Gordo, you have to go home and face your mom. You can't keep hiding like this."

"I can't possibly face my mom. Do you know what she would do to me when she found out that you tested positive?" Gordo inquired, dumping the noodles into a pot, he stirred them and watched Lizzie. "She'd kill me."

"It's not a big deal, she's a psychiatrist, I'm sure this happens all the time." Lizzie commented quietly.

"Not to _her _son!" Gordo shouted, shaking his head, blue eyes fraught with worry. "It may happen to ninety-nine percent of society, but _not _the Gordon's. It was a mistake."

"Are you implying that I made a mistake, Gordo?" Lizzie demanded bitterly, standing to her feet so she could go into the kitchen. "Because if that's the case, then I know what I'd do with it."

"Don't just end it, Lizzie, follow through with it. Please? For me?" He pleaded, folding his hands. "I know you don't want to do it this early, but please? I don't think it would kill you."

"How do you know it won't? Did you see what my mother went through?" Lizzie shrieked. "You don't know what kind of question you're really asking me, Gordo. That's a tough decision, and you're a part of what made it happen, so you're a part of the final decision. We _need _to tell your parents."

"What about your parents?" Gordo asked, defeated.

"We'll tell them. At the same time." She murmured quietly. "Now finish dinner so I can call them over."

"Are you sure your parents won't be mad at me?" Gordo asked finally, idly stirring the noodles again and watching them float to the top of the pot.

"They'll be delighted, I promise." She smiled to offer some support.

"I don't see how any parent can be happy about this. You're only seventeen!" Gordo raised his voice slightly, and then lowered it when he heard her talking to her parents.

* * *

><p>Gordo placed the bowl of noodles in the middle of the table and looked at Lizzie for some type of reassurance that their news wasn't going to be as hard as he previously imagined it to be. Jo, Sam, and Matt were at the left hand side of the table, while his mother and father were across from them. Gordo brushed a hand through his hair carefully, having an Ethan Craft moment.<p>

Matt piped up first. "So, there's a reason you've called us all to the war room, Mr. President?"

Lizzie kicked him under the table. "Shut up, _Matthew_."

Jo turned to Sam and looked at Gordo's worried expression. "You guys, I'm a little worried about what your _news _is. This isn't going to be life-changing, is it?"

Lizzie flinched a little. "Y-yes." She smiled casually, and then noticed that Gordo's parents were glaring at him. "Umm…let me explain. See, Gordo and I were messing around one day…"

He blushed bright red and looked down at his hands. "It was an accident."

"It _wasn't _an accident! At least, I don't see it as one!" Lizzie calmed significantly as she went onto the next sentence. "I took a test…"

Jo gasped, trying not to say anything further until Lizzie explained fully.

Finally, Lizzie finished. "I want to go through with it."

"I'll be there with her, I promise. I won't leave her side at all. She won't be alone. I know it's going to be hard for both of us being so young, but we'll make it work. I'll even find a job. I promise. I support her decision, and I want her to stick by it." Gordo finally piped up, finding his voice again.

"David Zephyr Gordon, you are _too young _to be a _FATHER_!" Roberta shouted at the top of her lungs. "This has _got _to be a joke! We raised you _much better _than that!"

Howard put his hand on her elbow and pulled her down to the table, looking at his son. "David – did you at least use protection?"

Raising a brow, he looked between the four adults, and one Matt. "A _father_? Oh, _God no!_ She wanted to see if she could pass the entrance exam to go to NYFS, and she got accepted. Do you guys really think that low of us? Besides, she doesn't even _like _me that way."

Lizzie nodded, confirming what Gordo said. "And if I did do something that unjustifiably stupid, I certainly wouldn't go about telling you guys _this _way." She looked at her mother and father. "Sorry for worrying you. I guess we should have worded it better."

"You want to go to New York Film School?" Jo asked, tears pricking her eyes. "You already moved out, and you haven't even graduated yet. Elizabeth, why New York?"

"It snows there." She shrugged and looked to Gordo, but he didn't offer any support. "I just want to spread my wings, you know? See what's out there. Besides, film school will help me with my acting. I'll be famous one day, watch and see."

Sam smirked. "I think it's a great idea. Then we'll have time to focus on Matt."

Matt groaned. "Please God, stay here, Lizzie. Don't leave me with them."

"Oh, hush, I survived five years just fine without you." Lizzie hissed. "You'll be just fine."

"I'm so glad I was an only child." Gordo commented, dishing some spaghetti onto his plate. "I would have killed my siblings by now."

* * *

><p>Lizzie was trembling in her bed that night. Gordo decided to stay the night because shortly after dinner with their parents, she started to look pale. He couldn't tell if she was sick, or worried. His mother okayed him staying the night because he was more than capable of taking care of himself, and after tonight's revelation, anything could be worse than that. He tapped on the door to her bedroom, holding a mug of tea. "Are you still awake, Lizzie?"<p>

She coughed quietly to confirm it was a yes, and then waited for him to sit on the edge of the bed with her. "I can't tell you how many times you've taken care of me." Lizzie whispered. "Why do you keep doing it?"

"Because that's what friends are for." He handed her the mug of tea and an Advil to reduce her fever. "I think you've got the flu that's been going around."

"I just pray it will be gone by tomorrow. I'd like to graduate, you know?" She looked away and smiled softly. "Thanks for the help, Gordo."

"It's no problem. You don't mind if I stay here tonight, do you?"

She shook her head and kissed his cheek. "Not at all. Sorry if I got you sick inadvertently."

"It's fine. I could withstand anything to see you smile." He looked at her sheets and shook his head. "Lizzie, let me ask you something that might be a little personal. What is it about Ethan that you like so much?"

"To put it bluntly? His good looks." She sipped the mint tea and coughed again. "Eww, peppermint."

"You _love _peppermint tea!" Gordo defended.

"Only when it's got honey in it. There's no honey, honey." She smirked.

"You shouldn't bite the hand that takes care of you. I could have spit in that mug for all you know."

"Why would I care? It's not like we haven't shared anything before." She blushed and thought of the kiss in Rome. "Do you regret anything?"

_Not telling you I love you_…

"No, why? Do you?" Gordo inquired, leaning back across her legs.

"There's one thing I regret. I regret never listening to you when you tried to tell me how you felt. I feel like the worst bitch in the world for taking advantage of you." She looked at him curiously. "And prom just added to that."

"I had a great time at prom. I don't care if you were leading me on, or hurting me, or breaking my heart, or whatever those people say. I was glad to be spending time with you. You can't break what's already broken." He stood carefully, taking the empty mug from her. "Do you want more?"

"No, I'm okay." She paused and looked up as he was leaving the room. "Hey, Gordo,"

"What's up, Lizzie?"

"You said…you said that you would die for me. You must live for me, too." She looked down at the sheets again. "Nobody wants a guy that would just go and die, leaving her alone. Prove that you can live for me."

Gordo nodded and closed the distance between them. He brushed her hair behind her ears and kissed her forehead. "I would gladly live for you. I'll even fight for you if you needed it. I would bleed for you, and give my soul for you. If you asked me to, that is." He shook his head. "The point is, there's no greater sacrifice than love."

She nodded and looked away. "But I don't love you like that."

"You're still alive, right?" Gordo asked. When she nodded, he continued. "Then there's still time to change your mind."

* * *

><p>Gordo sat on the couch, curled up while he was watching Casablanca where Lizzie left off. As usual, the subtitles were on, and he had it muted so it didn't wake Lizzie. Around five, he heard her come from the bed room, and wondered if she was okay. He quietly looked up when she came into the room wearing her frog pajamas. "What's wrong?"<p>

"I can't sleep," She mumbled casually, dropping onto the couch at his feet. "I'm not feeling sick anymore – whatever you gave me worked. But now I'm not tired."

"Want to watch Casablanca with me? After this I'm watching Gone With the Wind…it's a really amazing classic about—" He froze, his whole body tense when he felt her lips press against his. He didn't know what to do, should he kiss her back or pull away? A lifetime of questions finally drawn to one moment, and he didn't know what to do. He tangled his hand in her hair and kissed back.

Lizzie pulled away a few moments later and looked at his bright blue eyes. "You're too nice to me."

"I've been told it's my weakness by general consensus." He held out his arms for her. "Do you want to lay on the couch with me?"

"I have a better idea. Why don't you sleep in my bed with me? It's a huge queen bed, there's more than enough room for both of us." She smirked.

"Afraid I can't. Then I'll be forced to take advantage of a bad situation." He murmured turning back to his movie. "I love you, Lizzie, but I could never hurt you."

"It's not going to be hurting me if I ask you to."

"I can't do that to you. You told me you wanted to wait until you were married, and I don't want to be the one you lose it to if you don't love me." He looked down at his hands. "Just do what you've got to do, Lizzie, but don't include me unless you really want me there." He whispered.

"I do want you there, but… I guess cuddling on the couch can't be so bad." She lay against his chest; he wrapped his arm around her hips and kissed her forehead. "After tomorrow, we won't be able to do this anymore."

"I know…are you sure you want to go to UCLA?" Gordo asked, closing his eyes a moment. "I mean, today you seemed all for going to NYU."

"Yeah, I want to stay close to home. UCLA is my best bet. Besides, Miranda will be there."

"Yeah…Miranda." He went back to the movie, zoned out. When he noticed Lizzie was asleep, he kissed her lips gently. "I love you, Lizzie McGuire."

* * *

><p><em>I'm trying to lighten the drama a little bit with a breaker chapter. Uhhhh…so, this is actually a flashback that Lizzie had after she passed out in the hallway. It's just something that's been on my mind for a while, so I felt like posting it. I'll be back to the actual story in the next chapter. For a list of song titles and authors, go to my profile page, they're all on there. And they also give a clue as to what the next chapter is about. =D<em>

_I'm running a contest. I'm doing a very incredibly special Christmas chapter – I'm hoping the last chapter of this story will be posted on Christmas (as it's also the last day of Chanukah). The first person to tell me what Gordo's favorite color is (not going by the show, if it was ever mentioned…I want the one mentioned in this story)– will have themselves written into the chapter. I know it's really lame, but it's just an idea I had. Submit your answers via review._

_And also, I'm doing another contest for this story, but that will be revealed next chapter. MUAHAHA!_

_Anyway, read and review. I'm off to work. ^_^_


	9. If You Only Knew

**If You Only Knew**

_There's something you should know. When you hear words like "he'll never make it", and "it would be a miracle if he survived" and something about the "swelling not going down", it's hard to remain positive about anything._ Lizzie wrote into her diary that she now carried everywhere with her. Since Miranda had come home, she'd spent a lot more time worrying about her health, and less time worrying about Gordo not making it. Not that Lizzie didn't want him to, but, as Miranda so eloquently pointed out, moping around won't change the fact that he's not getting better. She paused and tapped the pen to her lip, thinking over her next words carefully. _I deal in the bizarre. I'm a bit askew. But even now, I can't think of a positive way to see this situation. Miranda told me that moping around won't get him better any faster than the medicine will, so we just sit and wait and pray and hope. Well, less of the praying, more of the hoping. The Gordon's are doing enough praying for the entire town._

_Word got out last week, after I passed out from malnourishment and overloading information (my circuits fried with all the knowledge I was now learning), that Gordo was in a life-threatening accident. I'd never known how many people really cared until I saw all the cards that came to the family. There wasn't just one box, but __**two **__shoeboxes full of them. Kate even offered to pay off some of his medical expenses. I don't even know why, she didn't really like Gordo much._

_Looking back on all of this now, I guess I can start off with "I guess I'm still alive" and end it with "too bad he isn't"…but that's too macabre for the situation at hand. Even now, I can't fully grasp what's going on. He's my best friend. He's been there for me since I was a baby. Losing him would be like losing Matt!_

_Miranda told me that the best thing I can do is learn to live with this. I don't know if I can. It would be so different without him around. Although, she did point out that he would have been on the other side of the country. And who really keeps in contact after moving that far away?_

_I'll be honest._

_I can't stand the thought of living without him._

* * *

><p>Lizzie tapped her foot carelessly against the table in the kitchen, her green eyes darting everywhere but where they should be. Mrs. Gordon finally sat back down across from Lizzie, holding a tea kettle. "Elizabeth, do you know why I asked you to come here?"<p>

"No, but I imagine it has something to do with your son." Lizzie answered carelessly.

Roberta shook her head casually. "It's because of your health. A week ago, you passed out from malnourishment; you haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?"

"Not as often as I should be, no." Lizzie answered, brushing her long hair back. "I'm a little worried, my best friend is sick, there's a good chance he won't—"

"I know," Roberta answered. "It's my son, I've been keeping tabs. I was going to go visit him today, and I was hoping you may want to come along. It's nothing special, just a normal visit. I haven't done it since he arrived, always so terrified to go in there for fear of what I'd see, but closure is always easier with someone else there."

Lizzie turned away. "Miranda told me I would be better off focusing on real life and not bothering with him. Going to visit wont' help the situation. We're not magical, we can't heal him. And whatever happens, I'm okay with it."

Roberta wrote something down on a piece of paper and looked to Lizzie again. "Have you ever heard of the stages of grief?"

Lizzie frowned and stared at the table. "No, Mrs. Gordon, I haven't."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance," Roberta replied, tapping her pen against the table. "Not everyone feels them in that particular order, but everyone goes through them." She peered at Lizzie and raised a brow. "I've noticed that since he's been in the hospital, you've gone from depression, anger, denial, and now acceptance."

"How can you tell?" Lizzie asked softly.

"Denial, you didn't want to believe he was hurt. Anger, when you finally realized that he wouldn't wake up and gave up. Denial, you didn't want to see him injured and stopped admitting it was happening. Acceptance…just now…_whatever happens, I'm okay with it_." Roberta folded her arms and watched the younger girl squirm uncomfortably. "Elizabeth, I have one question for you, and I want you to think about it thoroughly before you reply to me."

Lizzie nodded.

"If he dies, God willing it won't happen, what do you plan on doing?" Roberta elaborated. "Will you come to his funeral to say goodbye? Will you be there for his family as they mourn? Will you pray it was just a dream? Would you even notice?"

Lizzie turned away again, her green eyes full of tears. "I don't know what to do. I miss him. I want him to get better. But I keep having conflicting emotions. I've been told to move on, to help him, to go away, to stay, to stop, to go…I don't know anymore. I just want him to wake up. He was the one who used to give me advice."

Roberta nodded sadly. "I miss my son as well. But when I view it, I view it as him being in New York – and yes, that is a form of denial. Elizabeth, you need to remember something about my son. He has never let you down before. Even when you broke his heart, he still waited for you. He would die for you."

"I don't want him to die for me!" Lizzie shouted. "I want him to _live _for me!"

"Tell him that," Roberta commented. She stood and left the room for some time. When she came back, there was a stack of books in her hand. She put them on the table with a loud thud, and watched the blonde again. "These are all photographs your mother has taken. Things he wished to hold onto. They didn't go to New York with him because you weren't going. He didn't want to remember you while he was away. While it's true, he loved you an incredible amount, he was also willing to leave for your sake."

Lizzie looked down at her hands. "He was following his dreams."

"No," Roberta whispered. "His dream was right here, in Hilldale." Roberta quietly looked to Lizzie. "If you want him to live for you, then you need to live for him. I know you love him, Lizzie. I can see it in your eyes every time someone mentions his name."

Lizzie nodded sadly, tears falling freely now. "I never wanted to hurt him, I just wanted him to know that I'd been broken so many times before – I wanted him to try harder, to push himself further. I didn't want him to give up. But that's what he's doing. He's…giving up."

"David doesn't _give up_, Elizabeth. He's analyzing the situation from your point of view. Deciding how to go about fixing it." She smiled softly. "And, to be honest, I would love to have you around more often. You're the missing link, you know."

Lizzie nodded and wiped her tears away, taking a deep breath. "Let's go see him."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: In this section I was trying to separate the footage from the real life, but it wouldn't read right if I did. So just understand that where it's saying "Gordo got into the car" or other such things, it's the footage.<strong>

Jo answered her phone when it went off for the fourth time in a row. She listened carefully, and then bit her lip. "I'll grab Matt, are you sure?" When Sam confirmed it, Jo hung up and ran to her car. She picked up Matt from school and drove to the middle of town.

"Mom, what happened?"

"Something changed in Gordo's case." Jo murmured. "And they need you at the precinct."

"Me? What did I do?" Matt asked, worry in his voice. "Will I be charged with manslaughter?"

Jo laughed nervously. "No, honey, it's not like that. Just come with me."

As they entered the police station, Sam was sitting beside Howard and Eduardo. Matt took a few steps into the room and sat across from the group. "H…hi. Am I going to jail?"

Eduardo laughed a bit and smiled. "No, Matt. Actually, you helped us quite a bit. You were the last one to see David, right?"

Matt nodded. "He came over to say sorry about leaving so early since we were going to hang out later that day. I thought maybe it was another girl or something, so I set up my spy gear in his car. Was that wrong? Will I go to jail?"

Sam shook his head and touched Matt's shoulder. "No, but you may have helped us make a break in this case."

"Really?" Matt asked, sitting up straighter. "What do you need help with?"

Eduardo looked to Matt with a nod. "We're going to officially ask you for your help on this case. We need _any _footage you have from the last seven months."

Matt took a thumb drive from his pocket and handed it to them. "Melina tells me to carry it with me everywhere so no one can steal it." Eduardo nodded and put the drive into the computer, bringing up the file footage.

Gordo got into the car and sighed, tossing a box into the back seat. He stopped to look at a smaller box in his hands and shake his head. "She'll never love me." He put the box in the glove compartment and started the car.

Eduardo fast forwarded a little bit through the next ten minutes. Finally it came to the point where the collision happened. Matt had set up the film in the door of the passenger side. It was then that Eduardo felt concerned for Howard and paused. "Would you like me to stop?"

Howard shook his head sadly. "No. It needs to be done. It's critical."

Nobody knew anything about the case, they all knew that the paramedics arrived five minutes later, and that they had called for a tow truck, but no one knew how it happened. Eduardo pressed the play button and frowned. This was an image he'd never be able to erase.

Another car passed by and Eduardo paused the film again. "Sam…is that…?"

Sam swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, that's Lizzie's car."

Gordo must have noticed, too, because when they pressed the play button again, he inched up further though the red light. Lizzie was coming straight across his line of vision. When she started to pass him, he noticed someone running through the red light across the road, making a turn. When he saw Lizzie come towards him, he turned his wheel hard and ran the light so the other car couldn't turn without hitting him. In the split second it took him to do that simple action, Lizzie had passed safely and was long gone. Eduardo paused again and turned to Matt.

"You're a lifesaver. Literally." Eduardo announced before looking at Sam. "We'll freeze it so we can get a name and send out a warrant."

Sam paused. "What about traffic cameras? He ran a red light, right? Wouldn't his name be on the traffic camera?"

Eduardo paused. "I'll pull those files as soon as possible. We need to verify it, so we're going to run the face through image software anyway." He turned to Howard, noticing the man's normally blue eyes were dark gray and full of tears. "It wasn't his fault."

"No, I'm not sad because of that," He answered. "I'm sad because he loved someone more than his own safety. And she doesn't love him back."

Matt spoke up first. "She's still alive, right?" Howard nodded. "Then there's still time to change her mind."

Howard nodded with a small smile. "You're a very wise boy, Matthew." He looked at Eduardo again, quietly watching him. "May I finish the footage? I need to see what happened."

"Will you be okay seeing it?" Eduardo asked.

Howard quietly replied. "It is my son. I must know."

The footage began to play where they paused it. It was just as the other car, a dark blue Durango, was about to make impact. As the other car connected with the smaller, more compact car, Gordo was thrown forward, glass shattering all around. It was a miracle he didn't have broken ribs from the impact. Howard's only question was why didn't anyone stop? Why did they all keep going?

"Who called for help?" Matt asked.

Sam shook his head. The footage didn't change for a long time, save the cars going by. Five minutes passed and a young blonde came running towards the scene. As she came into view, Sam realized why Kate had offered to pay his hospital bills. "That's Kate Sanders."

Matt blinked several times and stared at the footage as Kate reached into her pocket for her phone and dialed 911. She quickly and efficiently announced that there was an accident at a stop light. She told them the road, the mile marker, landmarks, and ended with 'hurry, he's bleeding really badly'. Kate knelt in the doorway knowing there wasn't much she could do to help him. Instead she just talked to him, hoping to keep him awake long enough that the medics could get there.

"I know we don't get along well, but you're best friends with Lizzie. I envy that. She's a really great person, and I regret what I've done to her over the years. Treat her right, okay? Don't hurt her. She loves you a lot, Gordo. Don't let her down by dying." It was almost as if Kate knew he did it to protect Lizzie. When the paramedics arrived, Kate stepped back and bit her lip.

"What's his name?" One of the medics asked.

"David Gordon, he lives at 219 West Terrace Street in Hillridge. His parents are Howard and Roberta, I have their number here…" Kate handed them the phone numbers and closed her eyes, shaking her head so her blonde curls bounced every which way. "Please don't let him die. My friend loves him very much."

As the sawing was heard, the camera cut to black, most likely from the severed wires. Sam was at a loss for words. So Kate Sanders wasn't _all _bad. He shook his head and saw Howard crying, whispering something. "There are good people out there." Sam commented.

"We'll find who did this," Eduardo answered, nodding to Matt. "Thank you, Matt. For once your odd behavior paid off."

Sam smiled at his son and pat him on the back. "You're an amazing boy."

"I am pretty amazing, huh?" Matt nodded. "Mr. Gordon, I'm sorry for what happened to your son. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Howard shook his head and smiled to Matt. "Just stay with him. Don't lose faith. You may have saved him."

Matt blinked and smiled a little. "I guess so, huh?"

* * *

><p>Roberta sat in the waiting room when she heard her phone go off. She looked at the text that Howard sent; <em>Praise the Lord, we found who saved him.<em> Roberta put her hand over her mouth and paged through to the next text. _Kate Sanders is a nurse up there at the hospital. Please remember to thank her, as many times as it takes. _She nodded absently and closed her phone, seeing Lizzie step out from behind the door.

"Mrs. Gordon? The doctors told me we can't see him for a while. It's too much stimulation and he's not healing." She folded her arms and began to tremble. "I don't know what else to do." She caught a glimpse of Kate walking through the halls, quietly wondering when she became a nurse. Then she realized that Kate was probably visiting.

Roberta went into the room and gingerly touched her son's cheek. He looked more like himself now, minus the bandaging around his head. Her gray eyes twinkled with tears as she kissed his forehead. "You have something to live for." Roberta whispered. "She's still alive. You must live for her."

As she turned to walk away, she heard a rasped voice behind her. "Tell her I love her."

Roberta nodded, tears falling from her cheeks as she left the room. It was the first time she'd heard his voice in half a year. Was this progress or her imagination? She bit her lip and waited until there was no one else around. "Elizabeth?"

Lizzie paused and looked to Roberta, green eyes locking with gray. "Yes?"

"He spoke. For the first time in six months, he spoke."

Lizzie's voice cracked with excitement. "What did he say?"

"He said _tell her I love her_." Roberta replied. "It was you, Lizzie. Don't give up on this fight. He needs you to be strong for a little while longer."

Lizzie nodded, looking down at her shoes curiously. How did she know Roberta wasn't just making it up?

* * *

><p><em>Uhh…yeah. This chapter fails to make sense to me, but for some reason I'm still pleased with it.<em>

_Meanwhile, at the 4077th!_

_I have every chapter of this story currently open on my computer. That's 30 some odd chapters. And I don't even think that 20 of these will make the cut. FUNFACT: I actually finished this story, and rewrote it. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but I love how people have to say "please update", as if I'm not going to._

…_wait a minute…_

_Oh, now I see why ya'll are saying that. I get it now. Clever._

_So anyway, the winner of the last contest was HilaryDroxursox, the next one, I promised to post on this chapter – I just haven't gotten the time to actually plan it out. I need to think of rules because I make this way too easy. I can't promise an amazing story, but I can promise an amazing Christmas chapter. There are eight specific chapters that will happen, one for each day of Chanukah. I promise they'll be extra special amazing._

_Unfortunately, now that I posted what I did in chapter 7, I have to completely rewrite my original idea. This is what sucks about writing on the fly, like I do._

_Oh, and I went and looked at my review history and it dawned on me that I have made 4…since 2004. How awesome is that? I'm such a terrible person. I must change that ASAP. I will be reading random stories all over the site and plugging 'em into my chapters…JSYK. =D_

_Sorry for the long freaking Author's Note. As always, read and review, and don't forget to make it long. I loooove long reviews (not as much as I love messages, though!)._


	10. While I'm Waiting

**While I'm Waiting**

Green eyes looked around the room, observing the dull green walls adorned with various purple objects. The eighteen year old ripped all the objects down and threw them into a box, anger flowing through her veins. She couldn't remember a time when she actually wanted to think about any of the photographs on the wall. They fell to the floor, cascading gently as if leaves blown in the wind, and landed gracefully on the floor. She reached down to pick up the first one and stare at it. There she stood, cap and gown, holding up a rolled up paper. Gordo was to her left. Miranda wasn't in that picture since Larry's family demanded photos of just the couple.

She threw the picture into the box and fell onto the bed, running her hands through her long blonde locks carefully. She rolled her eyes skyward. "Mrs. Gordon keeps telling me that you're our only hope right now." She murmured to the ceiling. "But I'm not really seeing any proof."

Suddenly a thought entered her mind _'Tell her I love her'_. Why would his mother just make that up? She looked up again, falling backwards on the bed. Green eyes darted around to count the neon stars on the ceiling. "If she's right, and you are our only hope of him surviving, what is this lesson you want me to learn? Is it that I can't take anything for granted? Is it that the world still goes on even when he's gone?"

She shot up straight and looked at the faded item on her dresser, where it had sat for nearly three weeks now. The old blue cover was worn, the spine falling apart. She'd opened it only once and saw highlight marks all over the pages. She raised a brow and took it gently into her hands afraid of it falling apart. Her fingertips gingerly ran over the etched silver words _David Z. Gordon_ running along the bottom right hand corner. The top read "N.L.T. Bible", but she wasn't sure what it meant.

"So this is it, huh?" Lizzie whispered, turning to the first page. It was a list of contents, as if that wasn't expected. She was never religious in her life, but now was a good time to start. Nothing puts your life in perspective like the misfortune of others, Sam said. She looked at a list that sat beside the Bible on the dresser. "First Corinthians 13:13…"

When the blonde couldn't find the passage, she began to grow restless. Instead she put the Bible back and stared skyward again. "Why can't you just tell me why you took him and not me?"

_Tell her I love her_…

Lizzie grabbed the phone beside her bed and dialed the number she'd memorized in the last two weeks. It rang for some time before Mrs. Gordon picked up. "Hello, Gordon Residence."

"Mrs. Gordon? I need help." Lizzie whispered, defeated. "I've never read the Bible before…"

"Would you like me to come over?" She asked carefully, knowing the topic is a touchy subject.

"…please, if you don't mind."

Two hours later, she never would have assumed that Roberta would be sitting at her table, holding a faded red leather-bound Bible of her own. It sat in her hands gingerly, even as she placed it onto the table. Roberta's gray eyes watched Lizzie for some confirmation that she was ready to learn.

Lizzie put the Bible down on the table and set the list beside it. "How do I find these?"

Roberta smiled and took the paper into her hands. She brushed back her short hair and opened to Corinthians without having to look at the front. The elder woman looked to Lizzie and pointed to the first number. "This is the chapter number. So look for the part where that number is bold. It will be larger than the others." She pointed to the second number. "Think of this as a 'subheading', it will be the verse's location. So look for the smaller number within the chapter." She ran her finger down her Bible's old onion pages and turned it so Lizzie could read it. "This is it, right here."

Lizzie brought it closer so she could read it, mouthing it out loud. "Three things will last forever – faith, hope, and love – but the greatest of these is love." Lizzie looked up at the elder woman, green eyes curiously searching for answers. "I don't get it, why did you give me this one?"

"Because love lasts forever, it is your legacy. What you do now will affect everything in your future." She stared at her hands, toying with the charm bracelet on her wrist. "Don't give up on love and it won't give up on you."

Lizzie nodded in understanding and found the next verse, after minutes of paging. "Jeremiah 29:11…" She continued quietly. "_For I know the plans I have for you, s_ays the Lord, _They are plans for good, and not disaster, to give you a future and hope_."

"No matter where you are, or what happens in your life, God never gives up on you and your future." Roberta commented, whispering her words. "Elizabeth, do you know why I gave you this Bible?"

"Not entirely, no." She replied, biting her lip.

"It is David's. He used to read it every night as a child, even until he turned fifteen. Then his life just got too hectic and he hadn't time to do so anymore. As such, he fell away from his faith." She shook her head, her grey eyes closing for a moment. "David has never given up on anything in his life. Not even his faith. That's why I wish you to learn more about yours. Perhaps you would like to come to our house for Chanukah next month? There is always an open seat."

Lizzie shook her head casually. "No, I don't understand any of this, Mrs. Gordon. What does faith have to do with saving him?"

"Believe in God, believe in ghosts, and just believe in something." Roberta whispered. "Without belief, we've nothing. Everyone needs something to believe in, or else you fall and can't get back up. You believe in yourself, so why is it so hard to believe in someone else?"

"He doesn't exist." Lizzie whispered.

"I would like to tell you a story only your mother knows." Roberta closed the Bible and placed her hands on top of it. It was the first time Lizzie noticed that the charms on her wrist were covering a slash mark. "When I was pregnant with David, things started to grow hectic for me. I hadn't time to do anything I needed to do. In fact, a few months before he was born, I had been diagnosed with Cancer. I had started to lose faith in myself, my family, and most importantly, my husband. At the time, I didn't know what to do. Howard was so busy with work, and I was so lonely, I felt like I was falling apart. Deep down, I was praying the child would make it without harm, it would make my life complete to have someone to spend time with. I swore if the child made it, he or she would be my pride."

Lizzie gasped and leaned forward, still listening intently.

"I didn't tell Howard I had cancer, in retrospect, I should have. Especially since my child's life was on the line. You see, with leukemia, you can pass it onto your children." Roberta began to cry. "I didn't want to bring a child into the world with the knowledge that I could possibly kill them, also. I decided that if I was going to go, it wouldn't hurt the baby. So I slit my wrists and sat in my bathroom with the blade trembling in my hands the entire time. I shook so bad, I was terrified of hurting the baby. I waited, second thoughts crossing my mind, doubt becoming ever evident. How would this child grow up? Why couldn't I be a testament to him? If he was diagnosed with it, at least he could see me battling with it and surviving."

She bit her lip and stared up at Lizzie. "I didn't know who else to call. It was two in the morning, Howard was at work at the dock – still working on his degree to council, and I found a number for your mother. I called her. She came over as soon as she could, and she was so gentle. She wrapped the wound up and held me close until the bleeding was under control. She took the blade away and threw it away, and then started to tell me about how I can't die because there's so much more for me to live for. And if my child wasn't a good indication of what I should live for, then I didn't deserve him."

Lizzie blinked, listening carefully. She wanted to speak but nothing came to her. "My mom knew you back then?"

"We've known each other for years, dear. Your mother saved me. In more ways than one. She told me about this group she belonged to that helped damaged children find hope. She left me with this," Roberta held up the Bible for emphasis. "And asked me to read the book of John."

Lizzie scrolled through pages until she found John and turned to Roberta again. "What is it about?"

"The death and resurrection of Jesus. A patient asked me several years ago, why would a man who loved his people so much, send his son to die instead of himself?" She smiled faintly. "After that night, I realized it. There's no greater sacrifice than your child. But why would I need to do that if he was my life? I wasn't going to give him up for anything."

Lizzie nodded and frowned. "Mom always seemed to know what was best."

"And then, September 14th, I met my son for the first time. The one who saved my life. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to live with the knowledge that I was the one who caused his illness." The elder woman wiped her tears and smiled to Lizzie. "He has, every day up until this point, tested cancer free. And as of 2005, so have I. It took a lot of struggles, and a lot of hardship, but I learned that I couldn't have done it without faith. Faith in myself, my child, my God, my friends, and my doctors. But here I stand, sure enough, with words of wisdom for a child in a similar position."

"How do you figure?"

"Just like my son almost lost me, you almost lost him. He is still here for you, watching you struggle with acceptance. I had several years of doubt, where I wanted to give up and live without them. But abandoning him would have been worse, for he was the reason I was fighting in the first place. Just like he's the reason for your doubt, and also the reason you fight so blindly." She stared at her hands, resting on top of the Bible's worn words. "Elizabeth, you may not believe, and that's fine. But prayer doesn't work if you don't believe what you're saying."

"I feel so stupid praying to a God I don't believe in."

Roberta paged through her Bible until she found another passage. "Psalm 46:10. Be still, and know that I am God." Roberta read, watching Lizzie look confused. "If you need the answers, ask. He'll provide them. But all things take time, Elizabeth. And miracles can't happen overnight. It takes time to make a baby, it takes time to graduate. It takes time to heal. We've been confirmed that he's still with us long enough for him to speak to you. _To you, _Elizabeth. Not me."

Lizzie trembled slightly, seeming to fold in on herself. "How can you have faith in someone you can't see?"

"Because someone saved your life that day, weather you see it or not. This means you are meant for a greater purpose. Just as I was meant for a greater purpose." Roberta nodded. "You told me in your session that you saw someone following you, and when you turned to look, no one was there. Someone saved you."

She nodded. "I guess so. But I need to see confirmation, Mrs. Gordon. I can't just _believe_."

"Sure you can. You believe in miracles, don't you?"

The blonde nodded again. "Yes, but that's diff-"

"How?" Roberta cut her off. "How is it different, Elizabeth? You can't see a miracle, or who makes it. You just know it's been made. Pray with me, please. I know you believe what I'm saying."

Lizzie closed her eyes and whispered to herself, still shy about doing it out loud. When she finished, she turned to Roberta again. "How can you be so sure this will work?"

"I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience." Roberta answered. "He is my son. I have faith in him. When he told me he loved me and he would see me later, I know he meant it."

* * *

><p>Lizzie sat in her room later that night paging through the book in her hands, the one that had the worn blue cover and pages falling out. It had Gordo's sloppy handwriting all over the ledger, little notes that allowed her to see into his mind. She smiled at the verses highlighted in green, clearly his favorites, since the rest were in yellow. He left small notes about what he felt the verses were about, and several were spot on to how Lizzie felt. She bookmarked the book of David – reading about the history of his name and where Roberta had gotten it from, put the Bible down and traced the name again. "You said you died to forgive us of our sins. So why don't I feel very forgiven?"<p>

Lizzie looked over and saw a box sticking out of the bottom of her dresser. It hadn't been touched since she moved in. She'd forgotten about it. She pulled the box out and stared at the contents. A small chain with a locket inside, reading "always remember", and the eighth grade class picture. "He promised not to leave my side, didn't he?"

And that was all the confirmation she needed.

* * *

><p><em>I'm updating this because its 1:30 and I can't sleep. This chapter may or may not make sense, and I'm praying I can stay on track (I'm depending on you guys to help me out with this!). Anyway, I just wanted to take a moment to say that in my life, there are very few times where people are confident in my work. I hear "oh, this is good" a lot, but never 'amazing' or 'inspiring'. I just wanted to take a moment to thank Sam, my real life friend, for inspiring me to pick up a relic and work on it again. I also wanted to thank Matt, another real life friend, for never losing faith in me. The two of them are the most amazing people in the world. And Aunt Kim, for realizing I had true potential and driving me to keep working at it until it was better. Without you three, I'd be pretty much nothing.<em>

_The true thanks go to my brother Thomas. If you hadn't done what you did when you were younger, I wouldn't be writing today. You inspired me to pick up the pen as my sword and use the paper as a shield. I've been writing for twelve years because of you, you jerk. And you've never read anything I wrote. Lol._

_Let me take a moment to point out that I am, in fact, a Christian. I have been for my entire life – even if I'm not practicing entirely. I feel that this story could use some faith and religion, and if it isn't liked, please don't trash me for it. Gordo is Jewish, and Lizzie is Christian (and that's how I see it, deal with it). The way I see this, in order for Lizzie to truly understand what's going on and how to help, she needs to find out why he's so faithful to religion, family, school…whatever. And when she does, she'll find out about herself and a lot more._

_But, as Shepherd Book from Firefly put it "Why is it whenever I talk about religion, you assume I'm talking about God? It doesn't matter what you believe in, as long as you believe." I love people either way. =)_

_Honestly, though, you can't have a story called "Star of David" and not expect a little religion. I promise it's not a lot. This is actually probably it until I get to the history of Judaism again._

_Also, the song is called "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller – it's from a movie called Fireproof, and it's an amazing movie._

_I'm done now. Read and review. Sorry for the long announcement. Lol_


	11. Save MeChain of Love

**Save Me/Chain of Love**

Lizzie stared blankly at the telephone at seven in the morning, trying to decipher the message that came through not even ten minutes prior. She didn't recognize the number. Paging through a bunch of random messages, she finally go to the last one and listened carefully. _Hi, this is Angie Bower of Hanna's Diner; I'm calling for Elizabeth McGuire. You'd applied to work here roughly seven months ago; we'd like to bring you in for an interview whenever you get the chance. Please call me back at—_Lizzie turned the machine off and dialed the number back.

Twenty minutes later she was sitting in a fancy office, probably too fancy for someone working in the food industry. She tugged sheepishly at her sleeves as the high-heeled woman came through the room dressed _way _too seriously for this job. She sat at the desk and folded her long legs, smiling carefully to Lizzie. "Hi, Elizabeth, it's nice to finally meet you." The older woman offered her hand.

Lizzie took it carefully and smiled plainly. "It's nice to meet you, too, Angie."

Angie paused and waited for Lizzie to speak, then went to page through files. She smiled softly, her teeth a pearly white. "You had applied to work here back in May? I'm terribly sorry it took so long to get to your application, we just had a woman quit on us last week, so we're scraping to fill in her position." Angie explained her teeth _too _pearly for Lizzie's taste.

Lizzie nodded carefully and stared at her hands, pulling the hems of her shirt. "Some of my references—"

Angie shook her head. "We called all of them a week after you applied. One of them, David? He speaks very highly of you. In fact, he recommended you with high praise."

Green eyes began to water, she trembled slightly, fear gripping her heart. Gordo recommended her? How did he know she would be a good worker? How did this Angie know Gordo could be trusted? She smiled carelessly and answered. "David is a great guy. I've known him my whole life. I miss him a lot."

Angie stared a little. "Did he move away?"

She looked up at Angie as if she was stupid. Then it occurred that this woman didn't know him, she wouldn't know. "Yeah. He lives in New York now."

Angie blinked. "Do you have any other jobs prior to this one?"

"I worked as a busboy, very briefly; at the Digital Bean…it didn't last long." She murmured.

"May I ask why you quit?"

"I had too much stress combined with school; it just wouldn't work for me. That's not to say I wouldn't be willing to do it again, of course." Lizzie quipped.

"What are your hours like?"

Lizzie looked down. "I'm available for any hours."

She scribbled down some notes then smiled, offering her hand again. "Congratulations, you've been hired." Then laughed like it was some joke. Lizzie offered a shy smile and the older woman continued. "We'll be in touch for your hours. For now I need some papers for you to fill out." Angie left, leaving Lizzie in silence.

She stared up at the ceiling and counted tiles. "You're really looking out for me, aren't you? It's like you knew I was going to be evicted if I didn't get my rent in the next two weeks. Why did this happen now?"

Angie came back and handed Lizzie a stack of forms to fill out; privacy disclosures, W4 forms, several other papers on top of that. She began to fill them out idly when she noticed a necklace around Angie's neck. Before she realized it, the words were out of her mouth. "Are you a Christian?"

Angie looked at Lizzie, dumbfound, as the woman spoke. "Is that a problem? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Lizzie decided that Angie was probably around 23, and that was ball parking it. She wasn't sure if this woman knew what Lizzie was going through. "My best friend is Jewish. I'm just wondering why I seem to run into this everywhere I go."

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I can take the necklace off…but I prefer not to." Angie commented. "Are you religious?"

"I…I'm not sure." Lizzie quietly answered, setting aside the form she'd finished.

"It's okay to not know. Don't let anyone pressure you. You'd said your best friend is Jewish?" Angie replied.

"My other friend is Catholic."

Angie gave a feeble smile. "Well, you're in the same area, at least. It isn't much different between the three. Incidentally, did you know Jesus was Jewish?"

Lizzie stared at Angie, wondering how a woman could talk so freely about the topic as if it wasn't happening. How could anyone at work talk like this? "No…I didn't…but now I do." When she finished the papers, she placed them neatly on the desk. "Thank you for hiring me, Angie. I'll be in touch."

Angie nodded and stood in the doorway, watching Lizzie leave, her heart telling her that this girl needed the job more than anyone else on the list.

As Lizzie went to leave the building, she noticed Matt come hopping towards the door with Melina. He stopped, frozen, when he saw his sister. "Hey, Liz."

Lizzie held the door and smiled to Matt. "Hey, Matt. Hi, Melina. Are you guys on a date?"

Melina shook her head. "Reconnaissance. There's a girl here who is the older sister of Joey, he's been picking on Matt lately."

Lizzie looked away. "Good luck with that."

"Not going to try and talk us out of it, Lizard?" Matt asked.

"No. Have fun. Try not to hurt anyone too drastically."

* * *

><p>Sitting in her car later, Lizzie began to cry. She hadn't even left the parking lot when she noticed Angie come walking outside; hands bundled to her sides in a hug, trying to fight off the brisk air. She stopped at her car and fumbled with her keys, dropping them several times. Lizzie barely noticed her crying softly, standing next to her car. She climbed out and looked at Angie, green eyes worried. "Are you okay?"<p>

Angie shook her head. "My brother is at the hospital. He's really sick. He has a brain tumor."

Words failed Lizzie. She didn't know what else to say. Without hesitating, she took Angie's hand into hers and pulled her towards her car. "Come with me. We'll go see him. You can stay at my house tonight."

Angie didn't think. "God bless you, you're so kind…Joey would like someone like you."

Lizzie paused. "Joey?"

"He's my brother," Angie replied. "He's thirteen."

Lizzie paused again and nodded, deciding to keep Matt out of this. She got into the car and started it so she could warm it a bit. "I'm sorry about your brother."

"He's so young. He's only thirteen; he wanted to be a baseball player." Angie whimpered. "He didn't even have a chance to finish high school."

Lizzie felt uncomfortable suddenly. "He'll be fine," She quoted Miranda. "He still has a chance, and if you believe, anything is possible. God can make miracles. I've seen it firsthand."

* * *

><p>The two girls sat in Lizzie's apartment later that night, watching some stupid movie on TV. When Angie had verified that her brother would be okay, her mood lightened to the airy and perky girl that was seen earlier. She sat beside Lizzie on the couch, laughing as she munched on a cookie that was fresh from the oven. It was nice to have someone else around that wasn't Miranda. She turned to Lizzie and smiled softly. "So why are you so nice to me?"<p>

Lizzie shrugged. "My parents taught me that you always are nice to people in a situation, that way when something bad happens to you, the _chain _doesn't end with you."

Angie nodded and smiled, setting the cookie down on the coffee table. "You've got a lot of pictures. Who are all of them?"

"Friends," Lizzie answered absently.

The girl picked up one on the side table and held it, staring at the two happy people. Lizzie was sitting beside Gordo on the plane, laughing hysterically at something he'd said. Mrs. Ungermeyer had taken pictures of each of the students on the trip. She pointed to the picture and looked a Lizzie. "Who is this? And old boyfriend?"

Lizzie touched the picture and gently took it into her hands, tracing the figures. "My best friend."

"The one who moved?" Angie inquired casually.

Lizzie paused, thinking it over. "I wasn't entirely honest with you," She whispered. "When I left, while you were talking to your brother…you asked where I went. His name is David, the one who gave me the reference back in May. David and I grew up together, he was my best friend. More of a friend than Miranda ever was. He got into a terrible accident in June…the day after graduation…" Lizzie began to cry. "He woke up long enough to verify I was still with him…and once again to say he loved me…and that was it. It's all he's said or done. They put him into a medically induced coma because the swelling in his brain is too much for him to survive through without it."

Angie brought Lizzie into her arms and smiled sadly. "I know how it feels."

"To lose a friend?" Lizzie asked.

"No." Angie answered. "I've been in his shoes."

Lizzie looked up, green eyes full of wonder. "Were you in an accident, too?"

Angie shook her head. "I was playing with Joey in his tree house when we were little. He pushed me out of the doorway and I fell six feet to the ground. I landed head first. The fall was so much that I fell into a coma. I didn't wake up for eighteen weeks, roughly a year. I'm glad I did, because my parents were about to give up hope. But Joey never did. Joey was there every day with me, thinking it was his fault. He was terrified my parents would disown him if it was."

Lizzie sat, listening intently. "What happened when you woke…?"

"I was so disoriented, to me it was like I was just dreaming the whole thing, like I fell asleep on the day I fell, and woke up that same day after a quick nap. I could hear the conversations around me, but my body wouldn't let me respond. I screamed that I was still there, but my mouth didn't move. It was terrifying. I'm sure it's pretty terrifying for him, too. That's why it's important for you to be there." Angie whispered, voice cracking slightly. "He needs someone to believe in. God might be able to save him, but not before he saves you."

"I don't need saving," Lizzie whispered, brushing her tears away.

"Of course you do. And if you say you don't, you're a liar. You told me you weren't sure if you had faith or not. I also know that bible on your table isn't yours, and the verses you're reading are in the book of John. This is the book for the new beginners."

"You knew that just by looking…?" Lizzie asked, astonished.

Angie shook her head and laughed. "No! I looked at it while you were making the cookies." She turned bright red. "I shouldn't have. Right now I bet you're thinking _why me?_" Angie asked.

Lizzie nodded.

"You're probably wishing for a miracle. Asking for help. Praying for daylight. A way out of the darkness you're in. Right?" Angie answered with a question.

Lizzie nodded. "You need me. I was sent here, to find you, for a reason. When my boss told me we needed to hire a new person, and that there was thirty-two people to choose from, I knew who I had to ask. I knew you were the one because even though I've never seen your application, for some reason, Elizabeth kept sticking in my mind. You were the only Elizabeth that applied. And then I remembered talking to your references, David, your friend. And I wondered why someone would speak so highly of someone like that, especially at your age." Angie folded her arms. "You need the money. I imagine a place like this is hard to keep up on your own."

Lizzie's lip trembled. "I hate asking for help."

"One door opens to another door closed," Angie commented quietly. "You can't ask for a toy without earning it, you know. Just like you can't pray for a miracle and expect it to happen. Do you know why it takes so long for miracles to happen? Because God needs to know you're worth it."

"Worth it?" Lizzie asked casually.

"Yes," Angie sighed. "You know how friends will help you out in a heartbeat, but strangers hesitate? God knows everything about you. Everything you don't even know yet. But, he wants to be your friend, not just someone you talk to when you need help. He wants a personal relationship with you."

"So I have to be friends with an imaginary person." Lizzie answered.

"An imaginary person wouldn't have saved your friend that night." Angie answered. "And neither did free will. Someone was looking out for him."

Lizzie nodded and looked down at her hands. "Where do I start?"

"Do you believe?" Angie asked, taking Lizzie's hand into hers. "In God, I mean."

"I believe someone saved me that night." Lizzie answered. "I'm not sure why, but I feel like it was supposed to be me in the car with him. But for some reason I didn't go with him."

Angie frowned. "But do you believe in God?"

"It's hard to doubt someone who's changed so many things in my life in the last few months." Lizzie replied.

"Then pray with me." Angie answered. "Repeat what I say: Heavenly Father, I know that I have sinned against you and that my sins separate me from you. I am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my sinful past and turn to you for forgiveness. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died for my sins, that He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You and to convict me when I sin. I pledge to grow in grace and knowledge of you. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example and do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

When Lizzie repeated what Angie said, she smiled and waited. "Is that all there is?" Lizzie asked.

"No. Now you need to make a promise to me that you'll pray every single night. Talk to Him like you talk to your closest friends. And remember that even though you prayed, this is a test of faith, so things may not work right away like you want them to. I'll be here to help you along the way; I'm not leaving any time soon. We're in this for the long haul."

Lizzie nodded and looked at the Bible that had Gordo's name on it. "I wonder if he knows," Lizzie asked. "Gordo, I mean…I wonder if he knows what I just did."

Angie shook her head. "No, but when you tell him, he'll be delighted to find out."

* * *

><p>Lizzie sat in her bed holding the faded blue Bible gingerly, afraid of tearing more pages out. She closed her eyes and frowned, suddenly unsure of what to say. <em>…like your closest friends…<em> "Lord, I'm new to this praying thing. I know you're up there, looking out for my family, but I need to ask you for help. Look over my friend David. He's going to need you right now, just as much as I do. And whatever lesson I'm supposed to learn from this, let it be quick and full of experiences. Please, don't take him away just yet. I haven't gotten to say goodbye, and it's much too soon for goodbyes anyway." She frowned and her bottom lip trembled. "I know I'm a terrible person, but I know on my heart that I love him, beyond reasonable doubt."

Silence filled the room.

"I'm thankful for Angie, for helping me realize you are real. Please, I'm asking you, to heal David. He needs you as much as I do."

She didn't know what else to say so she put the Bible on the bedside dresser, beneath the picture of her and Gordo at graduation, and turned off the light. Hanging along the frame was the cross necklace Angie had worn, giving it to Lizzie. She'd said it was given to her as a present when she became a Christian, and she wanted to pass the legacy onto someone else. Lizzie graciously accepted. "Make me a woman who lives for you." She whispered with a yawn.

* * *

><p><em>Okay, so my first day of work sucked. It literally made me come home crying. This was put on hold for a while. It's 3am while I'm writing this, and I'm not sure if it's any good. And I doubt I'm on topic. I'll try and stop with the filler, but I doubt I can keep up with my regularly planned schedule.<em>

_This idea has been on my mind for a long time and I wanted to get it out. I hope its okay. And I'm pretty sure this is all the religion I'll cram into it. The rest will be subtle, not so much "chapter" material._

_The song title is actually a tossup between "Save Me" by My Darkest Days (appropriately named because of the chapter theme), and "Chain of Love" by Clay Walker, also appropriately named (that song is about how you help one person and it keeps going until it comes full circle)._

_I like Angie. Expect her to stay a while. =)_

_Anyway, read/review. I'll stop boring you guys. And if you want to talk to me – add me on Facebook. The link is now my homepage on here. =)_


	12. Breathe

**Breathe**

_Just like that a month passed. And then two. Suddenly, the next thing I knew, it was November of 2011, and I had just turned twenty one…but, so did Gordo. They had woke him up for a day or so, then determined he could probably be on his own on November 29__th__, 2008. On November 30__th__, 2008, he fell into a coma again. The doctor's hadn't entirely figured out why he'd done so this time. I couldn't remember what happened after that. I know I went home and slashed my wrists, blaming myself for his helplessness. Shortly after that, on December 18__th__, when I was found by my brother…I was sent to the psychological ward and lost my job._

_I was released from the psychological ward in August of 2009, but things hadn't changed while I was gone at all. Gordo was still gone, and I was still blaming myself. It was then that I realized that while I felt hopeless, maybe things did change. Angie visited me every single day until I was released; she stayed with me and explained to me that what happened to me…my survival…it was a miracle. Even the doctors were amazed that I managed to survive through that. I prayed for a change, but nothing visual changed, and Angie told me that maybe my problem was that I needed to believe in myself._

_I tried my best to fit back into society. She got my job back for me, and I spent the next two years working._

_Just like that, life went on._

* * *

><p>Miranda sat at the Digital Bean and watched people pass by the windows, shaking her head. The young brunette wrapped her hands around a mug of coffee and breathed in the aroma. She'd noticed that since the accident at her apartment, Lizzie hadn't been herself. She was quiet, more detained, and less likely to smile. Things had grown so dark since then. Quietly she crossed her legs again and watched the blonde walk by the window and come inside. She ordered a latte and sat at the table across from Miranda. "Hey, how are you doing?"<p>

Lizzie smiled sheepishly, and then her face dropped. "The medicine makes me sick."

"You have to take it." Miranda commented. "You're suffering, just like his parents are."

"It was my fault, Miranda." Lizzie whispered, staring at the slash marks on her wrist.

"How do you know? No one told you that did they? Because if they did they were lying." Miranda sipped her coffee and placed a hand on top of Lizzie's, the Tiffany bracelet jingling with each move. "You're an amazing person, but you weren't the one who killed him."

"Miranda, life isn't the same anymore. There's this silence that follows me everywhere I go. When I hear a voice, I hear him. When I see a name, I see his. I can't breathe without wondering if this will change. It's been almost three years, Miranda…three years." She wiped away a tear casually and looked up with a smile when the waiter brought out her drink. She set it on the table and pulled a small pill bottle from her purse, setting it on the table for a moment.

Miranda caught a glimpse of the bottle on the table and swiped it away to read the warning label. "Cymbalta? At sixty? Is he crazy?"

"Mrs. Gordon suggested it," Lizzie added, swallowing the pill with a swig of her drink. "I started out at twenty and she made me go to a higher dosage because of my anxiety and depression."

Miranda shook her head and placed the bottle down. "I suppose she knows best. She does this for a living after all. Is she actually allowed to see you as a patient?"

Lizzie nodded and frowned. "Yes, but only if I swear not to tell anyone outside of the office. Something about liabilities?" She shook her head and closed her eyes. "I don't feel like myself."

"You won't. Hopefully this is only temporary." The brunette frowned and looked to Lizzie. "How is Angie's brother?"

"The chemotherapy is working for the most part, they got most of the tumor, but there's still a tiny bit. Not enough to kill him since it's benign." The blonde brushed her hair back and watched Miranda carefully. "So what was your news that you wanted to call me here for?"

She smiled brightly and looked at Lizzie, holding up a photograph. All Lizzie could see was the back, the white part. Miranda made her guess. "Can you figure it out?"

Lizzie shook her head disappointedly. "You and Larry got married."

"No! Well…yes."

Lizzie frowned at not being invited, but then realized that it happened when she was away. "You've…got a house?"

"That, too. But no." She smiled brightly. "I'm pregnant."

Lizzie nearly spit out her coffee. "_Pregnant_!"

She nodded. "Yep. Six months."

Lizzie stared at her reflection in the table and wondered. "Miranda, the way I feel about Gordo…is it possible that I feel that way because I love him? Or is it just guilt?"

"…a little of both. But I think secretly you've always loved him."

Suddenly, it felt like Miranda made sense.

* * *

><p>Lizzie sat in Gordo's hospital room, watching the monitor beep steadily. There were no indicators that he was listening this time, not even a spike in his heartbeat. The doctor stood in the far corner, where a weeping Mrs. Gordon stood, holding Howard close. Lizzie suddenly felt like she was in the way. The words struck her hard when the doctor muttered them, trying to keep the 'sensitive' girl from hearing them. "There was little to no activity when he was tested last." The doctor spoke. "We fear he may be brain dead."<p>

Roberta screamed something about the doctor not trying hard enough, and then felt herself pulled away by Howard.

"You may want to be saying goodbye in the next few days." The man spoke, watching Lizzie as he left the room.

Lizzie nodded and looked to Howard and Roberta, feeling like she'd just watched a piece of her life end. _This isn't the end of this story. Just because the chapter is over, doesn't mean the book is over._ Angie's words echoed in Lizzie's mind. She had no idea how true that felt. Even though the doctor told her to say goodbye, Lizzie was positive this wasn't the end.

Howard finally let go of Roberta so the woman could gingerly touch her son's cheek. She willed him to wake up, hoping her touch was enough, but nothing happened. Like Lizzie had sat there and waited for three years for a change, she knew the answer to this story was that Roberta wasn't going to make any more progress than she did. Lizzie watched the woman speaking softly to her only child and wondered if this was what it felt like to lose a baby.

"Wake up, please, for momma." Roberta pleaded, breaking down in tears as she slid to the floor. "Please, David, wake up."

Howard let his wife mourn, his hand resting softly on her shoulder while she wept. He'd break down later, but for now, he needed to be the strong one. He touched his son's hand and shook his head. "I always thought you were stronger than this." He frowned. "No. You _are _stronger than this." He answered to the rhetorical question.

Lizzie waited for the two parents to grow silent before she looked to Gordo, her voice calm and strong amidst the chaos. "You've given me more than enough reasons to believe that there's a higher power at work here. I've denied every single miracle I've been presented with. Sometimes I think that if you died, I'd understand, but I won't. I won't understand anything, and I'd spend the rest of my life questioning why a loving God would take someone as amazing and bright as you. I can't sit here and watch your parents suffer. I can't sit there and listen to the words the doctor speaks. I can't pretend it doesn't kill me to hear every day that you're losing the fight. I have never known you to give up. Gordo, you fought until you couldn't stand just to win the contest with Larry, so I know you don't give up easily. Who told you life wasn't worth the fight? Who told you to give up? Did anyone say it's okay to rest for a while?" She took a deep breath, her voice rising slightly as she continued her rallying speech. "When we were sixteen and sitting in your room, you had the _audacity _to tell me you would marry me one day. Now where are you? Vegetating on some hospital bed, where you and I can't even be together properly. You want to show me you're worth marrying?" She leaned closer and whispered, her voice finally cracking. "_Live for me._"

Roberta watched the blonde speaking, wondering if she'd finally made a breakthrough with her problem, when suddenly she saw her burst into tears. Even the strong ones falter, she thought. "Elizabeth…"

"Don't touch me, please. I just want to go home. It's too soon to say goodbye. I'm just getting to know him." She hissed, biting down hard on her lip. "If he truly loved me…he'd fight for me."

As Lizzie walked away, Howard couldn't help but wonder if she was right.

* * *

><p>Jo tapped on the door to Lizzie's apartment, entering with a box of tapes and several more of tissues. She set them on the floor and smiled hesitantly at her daughter. "Are you sure you're up for this?"<p>

"Yes." Lizzie murmured, sitting curled on the couch with the jacket he'd left behind just three years before. She held it close, not wanting to let it go. Every so often Roberta would steal it from her so she could wash it, but otherwise, it never left the young woman's side. Jo frowned and plucked a tape from the box and pushed it into the VCR. It was one of the ones from when she was doing gymnastics.

They went through the box; going through the music video, the space odyssey, the documentary…it was nice to hear his voice again after so many years. She'd forgotten what it sounded like, so she begged her mother to bring the tapes over. He'd labeled them to go to storage with the intent of never opening the box again, but since it was left behind, she felt like it wouldn't matter if she took them for a while.

She would smile when she heard that famous _hah, Tudjman_. She smiled even more when she saw him standing on the stage watching her perform in Rome. This entire time, she'd thought he left, but there he stood, smiling and clapping for her. Little bits and pieces that she didn't know where picked up by visual cues. In another video, he stood silently watching her miss the baseball in gym, but cheered anyway. It was as if she never knew him.

She turned to her mom and whispered quietly, "Why did it have to be him?"

Jo frowned and looked at her daughter, bringing her close. "It's funny how you get to know people for real when the worst things happen. I always wondered it myself, but the answers take time, Lizzie. Gordo was always a great friend to you, every single day. He didn't want to let go so easily, and I'm sure he still doesn't. But even if he wakes up, remembering you is a slow process. He may not even know who he is. It would be nothing short of a miracle if he did." Jo kissed Lizzie's forehead. "The accident wasn't as much of an accident as you think."

Sam agreed that it would be Jo that told her, knowing the subject was too sensitive to be done any other way. Lizzie stared at her mother with concerned green eyes. "What do you mean?"

Jo looked away, shaking her head. "He was saving you."

Lizzie sat up straight, glaring at her mother. "So it _was _my fault!"

She shook her head and pushed the video that had been made for evidence into the VCR, holding Lizzie close as the footage played.

Lizzie trembled visibly. "That's my car…" When the footage got to the accident she closed her eyes and screamed. "No! It was my fault! Mom!"

Jo held her tighter while the younger girl cried. "Lizzie, it wasn't your fault. He chose to do it to save you. He did it because he loves you."

That's when the girl caught that she didn't say it in the past tense; she said it in the present tense. So of everyone else she knew, her mother had faith that he'd make it. "Mom, he's going to make it, right?"

Jo continued to smile, brushing back Lizzie's hair. "Of course he is."

The footage continued and Lizzie gasped when she saw Kate run up to the car and dial for help. She didn't know Kate ever cared. The pieces were falling together, and she didn't know how to see the big picture. Was God telling her that Kate wasn't bad? Was he saying not to take anything for granted? So many questions swam in her mind.

"You're asking yourself what the lesson is, aren't you." Jo asked. Lizzie nodded. "God will give you the pieces, but he won't show you the full picture. As the pieces come together, you start to see it. And even then, it's only part of a bigger picture." She smiled carefully and gingerly touched Lizzie's hand. "For right now, keep in mind that Gordo loved you _very _much, and he wouldn't just give up on you. Not even if you told him to."

Lizzie nodded feebly and held the jacket tighter, her grip turning white. "Mom, I know now, without reasonable doubt that I love him just as much as he loves me."

"Oh, Lizzie, I always knew that." She kissed her forehead and let the child lay against her shoulder. "I always knew you would realize it one day."

The next morning, Lizzie awoke in her mother's arms, the stack of tapes scattered on the floor. Her mom must have continued watching them after she fell asleep. She turned to look around her and saw notes on top of the box. In the notebook was a photograph of the accident, and another under it of the license plate number of the car that hit him.

Her heart began to pound and her breathing got short when she looked at the name that was linked to the car. Owner: _Angela Christine Bower_.

* * *

><p><em>Seven or so more chapters and this draws to a close. So, did anyone see that coming? I sure didn't, and I'm writing it. XD This chapter has a lot of drama in it, it's about to get interesting. I had to add that because it was the only way to get to where I am now. Next chapter will be lighter, I promise. Also, just for kicks and giggles, the name Angela = Messenger of God (English). David = Beloved (Hebrew). Elizabeth = God's promise (Hebrew). The sequence for naming was COMPLETELY random, but now that I look at it – not so much. I skipped ahead this far because I was totally out of ideas and wanted to end this soon, so I had to be here, or else I'd be doing constant drama or angst, and I don't want that again.<em>

_Miranda will probably be in the next few chapters, as well as a long-awaited appearance from Larry again._

_My writing reflects my mood, so if it's dramatic, it's because my job really sucks right now. On the bright side I'm 88 dollars richer than I was previously. Just a note, also, I _did not _do any research for this chapter; I'm working off my own experiences. A little boy from church; Nathan, has a brain tumor (he's doing fine now), my brother tried to kill himself. So that's where those came from. I might touch up a little on what happened between here and last chapter, but I doubt it. Sorry for the confusion. I tried to sum it all up in the beginning when she was writing in her journal. And the journal entries are AS they happen, not LOOKING BACK._

_Also – I am STILL on Cymbalta – they started me off at a dosage of 60 and it's incredibly dangerous. For almost six weeks I was terribly sick, so I had to have it knocked down to 20 and tapered up (meaning you start at 20 for two weeks, then go to 40, then 60 so your body can adjust). It's terrible, I hate it, and I wish I didn't have to take it…but life sucks sometimes._

_**READ AND REVIE****W**...might stop with the long author's notes, idk. lol_


	13. Life After You

**Life After You**

Lizzie stared blankly ahead of her as Angie did the dishes in the restaurant. What would she say to her? Now that she knew Angie was the reason why her best friend was in the hospital, there was nothing else to say. She didn't want to believe that her new friend could be anything but true. Especially after three years of friendship. Lizzie looked away when Miranda sat down at the counter. "Hey, Liz."

"Go away, Sanchez, I'm working." Lizzie answered with a smirk. "What do you want?"

"Hey, now." Miranda growled. "Is that any way to treat a customer?"

"I suppose not," Lizzie answered, wondering what else to do. "Miranda, they said that Gordo won't make it."

She hung her head. "I know, I heard. I'm sorry."

"No," Lizzie answered. "I am. Because I'm the one who let him go in the first place. If I had told him to stay, maybe he would still be here."

Miranda raised a brow. "Stop beating yourself up over it, Lizzie. It would have happened either way. Don't you know how fate works?"

Lizzie hissed something rather bitterly as Miranda walked away. As she was leaving, Lizzie then noticed that Sam came in with Eduardo. What were they doing here? She watched her dad with a smile. "Hi daddy, what are you doing here?"

"Business," he mumbled when he saw who he was looking for. There, standing in the kitchen in a pristine uniform, stood Angie. Sam stopped in the kitchen doorway, hearing shouts from the manager that you're not allowed in the kitchen. Eduardo stood behind Sam, waiting.

Eduardo finally stepped forward comparing the photographs. "Angela Christine Bower?"

The girl looked up when she saw Eduardo in uniform. "…yes?"

"You're under arrest for aggravated vehicular assault." Eduardo answered, holding out the handcuffs in one hand. "Do I really need to handcuff you?"

Angie hung her head in shame. "I won't run away. Can you please explain to me what this is all about?"

"Do you know a David Gordon?" Sam finally asked. The name brought tears to Lizzie's eyes as she observed the situation. Angie shook her head no. "He's currently in the hospital in a coma because of a car accident."

Suddenly Angie's eyes shot to Lizzie. "Your friend?"

Lizzie nodded sadly and held a rag in her hands with a death grip. "Angie, I wasn't setting you up for failure. They put the pieces together on their own; I had nothing to do with it. I…didn't even know."

Angie shook her head. "How do you know it was me if I don't even know?"

"Do you recall June 15th, of three years ago?" Eduardo asked in the wake of Sam.

"…no, I do not." Angie answered.

"A traffic camera caught you running a red light on the intersection of Fifth and Strayer. The photograph was taken not even fifteen seconds before the ambulance says hit Mr. Gordon. We've also got eye witness accounts, as well as video graphic evidence." Eduardo paused and turned to Lizzie. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, Elizabeth, but everything had to be revealed to you on its own time…and we just got the warrant."

Angie shook her head and threw up her hands. "Wait! If I did this, how do I not remember it?"

"Reasonable doubt," Sam answered. "Or you don't _want _to remember it."

As Eduardo escorted her out, Sam stayed behind to talk to Lizzie. He didn't say much, just smiled at her and said: _go see him…don't worry about getting fired. Just go._

Lizzie nodded and left, her heart beating a thousand beats per minute. She couldn't remember a time when she ran so fast in her life. Why hadn't she taken her car? Her breath finally caught up to her heartbeat when she stopped at the doors to the hospital. What was she expecting to see? She climbed the steps until coming to the room Gordo was in. No one else was there, just her and him. And that's when she noticed it. "G...Gordo?"

Bright blue eyes turned to see Lizzie standing in the doorway. He didn't speak for a long time, but when he did; his voice was cracked, as if he forgot how to speak. "…Li-zz-ie?" He spoke the word out carefully, eyes furrowing when he felt he couldn't get it right. "Ee-liz-ah-beth."

She nodded and took a hesitant step towards the bed. "Do you remember who I am or are you just reading my nametag?" She asked with a smirk.

"School." He replied, smiling. "Children."

She nodded and sat in the chair beside him, taking his hand. "Are you just pretending or are you here for good this time?"

He looked up when he heard heels clicking. That's when he saw his mother enter the room, standing hesitantly in the doorway. "I heard you were making progress, I came to see it for myself."

"Mom." He smiled brightly and nodded, as if he was a child learning how to walk.

Roberta began to cry. "Five days ago you couldn't even remember who I was."

"He's been awake for five days and no one told me?" Lizzie demanded. "Don't you think I would have wanted to know?"

"It was going to be a surprise, but now that he's better and you know, maybe you should spend some time with him. Elizabeth, Dr. Miller says that he's shown significant improvement. Besides needing to relearn how to walk and minor speech therapy, he's almost as if he never left. The swelling is almost completely gone, minus a tiny spot that still hasn't left, but it's on the outside. Elizabeth…I told you it was a miracle he survived."

She nodded and continued to hold Gordo's hand, tighter than ever. "Liz…"

She stared at him with a nod. "Yes?"

He reached into the drawer next to the bed and tugged out a gift wrapped present from graduation, holding it in his hand. He handed it to Lizzie and smiled. The box was long, like a necklace or bracelet, wrapped in dark purple paper. "Open."

She hesitantly unwrapped the paper, and then stared at the long box that read _Tiffany's, _how could a kid like him afford anything from that place? Half expecting a necklace, her heart nearly stopped beating when she saw the diamond ring placed intricately in the middle of the large box. Mouth agape, she looked at Gordo as Roberta cried in the corner.

Gordo's hands rose to chest level as he began to use sign language. Of all the motor functions he kept…it had to be the one that Lizzie didn't understand.

_Will…..you….marry…..me?_

Her world went dark for a minute as he silently voiced the words. She touched the diamond ring and took it gingerly from the box, running a finger over the large stone. She nodded, and then remembered what her mom taught her as a child. She signed a yes and kissed his lips. "I've missed you, Gordo."

"Call…me…David." He answered, smiling sadly. "Gordo…gone."

He was right, Gordo didn't exist anymore. Not while he was trying to relearn all of life's necessity. And it associated him with a past he didn't want to remember. "Happy 18th, 19th, 20th, and 21st birthdays," She casually answered, sliding the ring onto her slender finger. For a moment, the world was right. And even if it was only for a moment, she knew without any doubt in her heart that this was what she wanted.

"Twenty-one?" He asked, looking up at his mother. "How…long?" Because talking hurt from years of having a breathing tube, he tried to limit his words significantly. "Mom…"

"Three years. You came back to us briefly the first year, but only long enough to see that we were all here." She answered, sitting next to Lizzie and looking at the ring when she showed it to her. "That's a beautiful ring; David…is it the same one you showed me before you left?"

He had to think hard, his head throbbing when she asked. "Yes." That's when all the memories that hadn't been there before came flooding back. The thought of Lizzie leaving, dropping off the video, running away, hitting another car…he began to cry as the others came back. He could clearly hear Kate's words encouraging him to stay alive for Lizzie…then he remembered Lizzie, speaking to him every single night, reading him stories and talking about Matt. It felt so surreal then, because he looked at the blonde that he loved so much and saw nothing but sadness. He wanted to scream _why are you sad if I'm still alive? Shouldn't you be happy? _But for some reason the words didn't want to come to him. Instead he stared at Lizzie through heartbroken blue eyes.

"Gor-David," She made sure to correct herself rather quickly. "Are you sure you still want to marry me? Three years is a long time."

He began to sign rapidly with his hands, to which his mother translated. "Lizzie…you've been the voice on my mind since the accident, the one telling me not to go, but I did anyway. You were the one who told me that it was okay to be who I am, as long as I stayed with you. You read to me every single night I was here…for three and a half years. You cried with me, you mourned with me, you laughed with me, you hurt with me. You were the one who never left my side. Not even if fate pulled you away. Of course I want to marry you."

Lizzie whimpered and then began to cry. She hadn't wanted to say anything out loud, but the words came out before she could think about it. "I named her Emma."

Roberta's gray eyes shot to Lizzie's, full of dark intent. "Named _who _Emma?"

Lizzie began to cry, her breath catching on each word. "My daughter."

"But you don't have a daughter." Roberta demanded answers.

"She died." Lizzie whispered, looking to Gordo. "I wanted her to make it, because if you didn't, I'd still have something to remember you…but it all just…after the accident, there was so much grief, I couldn't stay positive. I guess babies feel that, you know? Because she just gave up the fight."

Roberta glared at her son. Suddenly the joy of him waking seemed insignificant. "David Zephyr Gordon! You _weren't _lying that day!"

He shook his head no. By her calculations, Lizzie would have been at least five months along after the accident. It was always such a terrible thing to lose a baby that young. "They let me see her," Lizzie answered, smiling at him. "She would have had your eyes, I'm sure of it. And when she smiled, she smiled just like you. I named her Emma, which means lion."

"Lion?" He asked, staring at his mother and shaking his head. "Why?"

"It takes courage to stay alive when the world is dying around you. She was what gave me faith to live this long. After she died, I gave up…I didn't think you would make it, I didn't think anything would change…but now here you are, talking to me, engaged to me…and suddenly life makes perfect sense. Even without Emma I know I still would have married you." She smiled and turned to Roberta. "We weren't keeping it a secret…we just didn't want anyone to know until I was seven or so months. I was really tiny for some reason, so I'm not sure Emma would have made it anyway."

"Emma…" Roberta whispered, testing the name out on her tongue. "I like it."

"Emma Leigh," Lizzie corrected, staring at Gordo, green eyes gazing passed him. "She was beautiful."

"Sorry." He whispered, staring downward. Lizzie had told him only once during his coma, but he didn't think much of it. He assumed it was a dream. In fact, he even _had _a dream about Emma and Lizzie…but that was it. "She…was…beau…ti…ful." He answered, lifting Lizzie's chin so he could see her tearful eyes. "I saw…her."

"When!" Lizzie shouted.

"When…I…died."

She turned sharply to Roberta and waited for the answers. "It was only two minutes!" Roberta replied.

"She…had…my…eyes." He smiled at the memory of the dream and took Lizzie's hand. "Your…smile."

"Was she pretty?" Lizzie asked through tears.

"Of…course. You're…her…mo-ther." He kissed her hand and closed his eyes.

"Don't leave me now, David. I need you." Lizzie whispered, voice cracking almost as badly as his had.

"Need…sleep." He rasped. "To…mar…row."

As he fell asleep, she kissed his lips tenderly, then left the room and stared at all her family standing there. They had likely heard everything, but when no one spoke up, she wasn't so sure. Whatever happened in that room stayed in that room, apparently, until her mother saw the ring and the women began gushing over it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>No, this wasn't a dream<strong>. That's all I'm saying in that respect. I had originally intended for him to wake up on Christmas day, and do a 16 page chapter, but I decided not to. Five is my limit anymore with work and such. I have a few more chapters. I might extend it to 11 or so, since I realized there's several weeks until Christmas, but with my work schedule, it might be updating every 2-3 days._

_Emma will be making an appearance, and don't worry, Angie's not all bad._

_Also, the streets don't exist - and I'm not sure if "aggravated vehicular assault" does either, but it came up on a law blog, so I presume it does. For the sake of the story, let's assume it does._

_**Read and review. =)**_


	14. Walk

**Walk**

Lizzie never made it a practice to avoid Gordo, especially now, when he needed her most. His therapy was going slow. Thanks to speech therapy, he was able to talk to her again, nearly as perfect as he used to, but his walking was still slow. The muscles atrophied so bad that he had to walk nearly every three to six hours for at least an hour. Even now, his therapist had to go through simple tasks to remind him that he could still do them.

His therapy was going so well that she felt it was okay to go back to work, but something didn't feel right about it. Dr. Miller had assured them he was okay to go home and be part of society. Two weeks had passed and he was doing marvelously. There was only one small problem. He forgot everything that happened. He could remember Lizzie talking to him, but the accident was all blanked to him. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital and it was bothering Lizzie having to explain it every day. She very quietly watched out the window as Gordo spoke to her about living arrangements.

"David, are you sure moving in together before we're married is such a great idea? Look at what happened last time." She whispered kicking her feet back and forth on the chair she currently sat on. Her mossy green eyes followed Gordo's every move as he wrote in a journal about his progress. The doctor said it might help jog his memories, but so far there wasn't such luck. He couldn't remember what happened last time, and Lizzie wasn't sure if he ever would. When he met her eyes with a puzzled look, she frowned. "Never mind. It's not important."

Gordo looked at Lizzie with dark blue eyes and held out his hand to her. "Can I see Emma again?"

Lizzie nodded and reached into her pocket for her wallet. It was a wallet sized photograph of the sonogram. There wasn't even much to see, but he insisted on dwelling on it. "Do you think she'd still be alive if you hadn't had the accident?" She asked rather carelessly.

"Maybe, but…" He thought long and hard and nothing came to him. "I don't remember an accident."

"You're in the hospital, David," He traced the outlines on the photograph and frowned. "I know, but I don't remember why I'm here. Liz, I really don't know anything right now. It's all so foggy. I try to remember what you're talking about, but it's all a haze of darkness. I see bits and pieces, but I can't separate reality from fantasy."

She nodded and kissed his hand as he held the photograph close. "She would have been beautiful."

Lizzie nodded and looked out the window; listening to the world move around her while they sat still in silence for a long time. "Would you be able to draw her?"

He nodded and took the notebook from inside the drawer. "My mom asked me that a day or so ago. I've been working on this all week." He handed the notebook to Lizzie and folded his arms while she looked at the image inside.

"…that's what you saw?" Lizzie inquired quizzically.

"Mmhmm. Isn't she beautiful?" He laughed and pointed to the child's eyes. "Your eyes…but my color." He moved his hand to her hair next. "Blonde hair."

She would have looked mostly like her mother, according to Gordo. He touched the side of the sketch slightly. "She's beautiful, I'm so jealous you got to meet her and I didn't."

"You're jealous that I died?" Gordo asked, raising a brow. "Because that's the only way."

"David." She frowned and closed her eyes tightly, leaning forward and burying her hands in her hair. "I wanted her so badly. I wanted that baby beyond any doubts in my heart. She would have saved me from falling apart like I did. I loved her and I didn't even know about her until the fifth month. She was the only thing that saved me. Why did God have to be so unfair and take both of you away from me when I needed you most?" She began to tremble with tears. He brought her close so she could lay her head on his chest. He ran his hands through her hair, whispering quietly to her. "She was going to be my life."

"Liz, we can try again later…but not right now. Not right now, okay?" He kissed her head gingerly, his hand resting against the back of her head so she could lie against his chest. "Don't think that the world is over just yet. It's just the ending of one chapter. There's still many more. Emma may have been the first, but I promise you she won't be the last."

She smiled gingerly and wiped her tears away. "Promise?"

"I swear on it." He closed the notebook and put it away, folding the sonogram image into it. He didn't want her living with that regret anymore. "Christmas is coming up. What do you want?"

"Please, it's another four weeks from now. Don't be insane." Lizzie answered, laughing feebly and socking him gently in the arm. His expression never changed. "You were serious."

He nodded and bit down hard on his lip. "I want to get you something special this year. It's our first year together after four years apart."

"Three and a half," She corrected.

He nodded sadly. "I know. It was still too long to be away from you." He went to take a sip of his water on the side table, listening to Lizzie talk about all that he missed. When she came to the words _Miranda's pregnant_, he nearly choked. "How far along?"

"Five months, today." Lizzie answered, whimpering softly at the thought of Emma again. "Larry is over the moon. He's so excited, I'm pretty sure he'd be flying if he could."

"No kidding," Gordo answered, shaking his head. "Man, Miranda…yikes. That poor kid."

Lizzie shook her head and laughed quietly. "Better her than us, huh."

* * *

><p>Now that he was cleared to go home, Lizzie wasn't so sure that living with him right now was a good idea. It wasn't that she didn't love him, but he wanted to rush progress. He wanted miracles right now and Lizzie was nothing close to a miracle worker. She didn't even know what to say to him most mornings. Even now as he attempted to walk up the apartment steps, she could barely breathe. He was so sensitive right now. The pain must have been something terrible for him to stop in the middle and stare at his shoes. "Are you okay?" She whispered. "I can go call Shannon."<p>

He grit his teeth and smiled carefully at her. "No, I can make it. Just give me a minute." A minute passed and he still couldn't find the strength to go up the steps. "I'll get up there, go up ahead of me."

She nodded and left, knowing better than to argue with him when he was set on succeeding.

A few more minutes passed and she found him, still sitting on the floor, but with his arms wrapped around his body. He was trembling, presumably from crying. She couldn't quite tell. Sitting beside him, she brought him close so he could rest his head on her shoulder. She felt his tears soak through her shirt and began to wonder when he became so weak. Then it occurred to her that Roberta had said something similar; _even the strongest people have to cry sometimes. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign they've been strong for too long._ She wondered how long he was hiding this pain from her when he spoke up. "I want to go home."

"You are home." Lizzie whispered, touching his unruly hair.

"No…home…four years ago. Lizzie, I want to go to high school and pretend nothing happened. I want to be with you and Miranda, joking and laughing like we used to. I don't want to be weak, or broken. I don't want to be forgetful. I want to be who I used to be. The smart kid with potential." He looked away. "At this rate, I'll never be a director."

"Yes you will, stop being so faithless. I didn't think you'd wake up and you beat the odds. They even told us to say goodbye, that you wouldn't make it." She looked down with a tiny smile. "But you showed them, didn't you?"

"I love you, Elizabeth. Don't ever leave me. Please. I need you more than you know." He sniffed and looked down at his shoes again. "I feel like a child right now. I haven't cried since you kissed Ronnie Jacobs."

Lizzie sat up straight and looked at Gordo. "Did you say Ronnie?"

He nodded and blinked several times. "Yeah, when you kissed him."

"Do you remember who he is?" She inquired skeptically. "Please say yes."

"Yeah, he was your first boyfriend."

"You remember that?" She asked, looking down.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"Don't rush results," Dr. Miller scolded. "Slow progress is progress none the less."<p>

Gordo nodded and looked away. "I just wanted to go back to work."

"Not yet. You're not capable of working just yet. Just a few more weeks, I promise." He looked towards Lizzie, warning her that if she didn't keep an eye on him, he'd take him away again. She didn't want that anymore than he did. "David, do you remember what happened yet?"

He shook his head sadly. "No. I remember a fight with Lizzie, but that's it."

Lizzie frowned. "Yeah, he's not kidding."

Dr. Miller spoke to Lizzie by herself and tugged her away into the hall. "Try to jog his memories, but don't do it too drastically, it may traumatize him. If he can remember then he made a full recovery."

She nodded and looked away for a moment. "I think I have an idea how I'll do that."

Twenty minutes later they were in the car driving passed Iverson Street, heading north towards the apartment. Gordo stared out the window making comments about people's houses changing colors. He could remember that but nothing else? Suddenly he idly made a comment about his car needing work when he noticed that there was one similar to it on the corner. That's when it dawned on her. She brought the car around to the street that garage was on, only keeping the car because the investigation was still open. "David, do you know where your car is?" She acted lost in the parking lot.

He looked to the blue one in the corner, recognizing his anywhere. It had a small chain in the mirror that his mom insisted was good luck in their culture. He didn't know how, but he'd kept it those years. He looked away feebly. "My car is wrecked. I guess I can't get work done on it." The whole front end was smashed, the left hand side crushed in. It looked like it was half its original size.

Lizzie nodded. "You don't remember how that happened?"

"No." He whispered and looked ahead. "I'm sorry, Liz."

"No, no…it's okay." They pulled out of the drive and began down Iverson to the next road. There was a stoplight. She went to stop the car when she idly noticed his hands crossed in front of his face. What was he doing? In the next instant she slammed on the brakes and heard him screaming that he didn't want to die yet, there was so much he had to do. He kept yelling about _never wanting to die_, and trembled hard. "David, calm down!"

When he noticed her sitting beside him, he moved slightly so his back was facing the window. "Don't die, Lizzie. I need you so much. I love you. I don't want you to die."

Lizzie raised a brow and made a mental note to call Dr. Miller after they got home.

* * *

><p>Sipping on tea, she gingerly paged through a magazine while waiting for the office to pick up. "Dr Miller?" She asked when he came over the line. "It's about your patient, David Gordon." Because Gordo was with his parents, she felt she could speak freely finally. "I think he remembers. HE spent the whole car ride home crying and screaming he didn't want to die. We went through the intersection the accident happened at. I guess I should have tried harder to avoid it."<p>

"No," Miller answered. "He's okay. Just give him time to calm down, he'll be fine."

She nodded and coughed when she saw the note on the counter under the magazine. _Lizzie, I've decided to go elsewhere. You don't need me holding you back anymore. I love you, I want to marry you, I never want to leave you, but you and I need time to grow and be apart. _She growled. "Wasn't three years long enough!"

Miller paused. "What are you talking about?"

"He left! I don't know where he went!" She looked away and clicked the phone so it hung up. She rapidly dialed a number and waited for Roberta to answer.

"He's here," She confirmed. "And he's hysterical. He says that you almost died. I need to talk to you later. He says he doesn't want to put you through this anymore. Elizabeth…who is Angie Bower?"

* * *

><p><em>Sorry I cut it short. Got to head in to work. Angie is in the next chapter. Promise that will be resolved shortly.<em>


	15. Where We Belong

**Back Where We Belong**

Sitting, yet again, at the Gordon's table, Lizzie listened to Gordo's mother speaking slowly. She touched a hand to Lizzie's palm and shook her head. "I have never seen my son cry. I have never even heard my son speak negatively. Sometimes…you just have to break down." She whispered sadly. "I don't think sending him home was a good idea right now, but…I supposed that Dr. Miller knows best, and I can always council with him."

Lizzie nodded, blonde curls bouncing off her shoulders while she spoke. "I would like to say he was fine when they released him, but that would be wrong. He was broken since day one, and now the frayed wire snapped. He's walking a very fine line, and I don't know if even I would be enough to pull him back off the ledge. I don't want him hurting anymore."

"For whatever reason, Elizabeth, he's repressed those memories. Trying to bring it back won't help him, regardless of what Dr. Miller says. Those memories are gone from his mind simply because he can't handle it. I'd imagine that this situation was what Howard feared the most. David is fine with pain, but mental abuse is not something he can handle, and at the moment, it seems to be all he's doing to himself. _What if, what if, what if_. They're questions even I cannot answer. He'll spend the rest of his life searching at this rate." Roberta brushed a slender hand through her hair, and for the first time Lizzie noticed she was trembling. Roberta had as much to lose as Lizzie did, if not more.

"I just don't understand why he's hurting so much over this. He chose to do it, right?" Lizzie questioned, her green eyes watching his mother inquisitively. "…didn't he?"

Roberta shook her head casually. "No. He did it hoping it would be enough to stop the other car from hitting you. Elizabeth, he loves you. He would do anything for you. I'm sure he's proven that. I just pray you're not using him."

"Using him?" Lizzie asked skeptically.

"During trauma, or when someone is 'saved', usually the one whom is saved feels a need to repay a debt to the savior. Don't feel that need. Just love him. That's all he wants from you." Roberta looked down quietly. "I saw you cry over your daughter. I know you love him more than life. Just don't stop loving him."

Lizzie heard footsteps in the hallway and turned to see Gordo dragging his feet through the hall. It probably still hurt him to actually walk, seeing as it had been so long. And with the minor problem with his head, she wasn't so sure he could actually keep his balance. But, he kept moving anyway, acting as if she wasn't there. "I'm just saying," She murmured. "I don't think bringing him home right now is a good idea. He needs to be trained."

"I'm not a dog." Gordo commented, knowing what she was referring to.

"You're not, but the puppy I'm looking at is. I want to name him Growl. It's a big black lab baby." Lizzie answered, knowing damn well that Gordo's mom already knew what she was talking about.

Gordo paused and listened for a moment, putting the words together in his mind. What was she talking about? She couldn't have dogs at the apartment; he knew that from when she bought it. "You can't have dogs…"

"It's not for me," Lizzie corrected. "It's for you."

He leaned his back against the counter and raised a brow, drinking from a glass of orange juice. "I don't need a dog."

"Yes you do," Roberta answered. "It would help you manage your anger better."

"What anger?"

"You've been so hostile lately," She answered, looking to Lizzie. "And none of us deserve it."

"Excuse me, mother," He looked at Lizzie, eyes narrowed. "What gave you the right to come here looking for me after I told you not to?"

"You said no such thing." Lizzie murmured gazing at the ceiling.

He sat in the chair on the other side of her, sitting where his mother had just vacated. He stared at Lizzie hard, first daring her to say something. When she wouldn't speak, he rolled his eyes. "I want to heal without you being in the way."

"Then why did you give me a ring?" She asked, staring now, at the diamond that seemed so small now. "I came here out of concern for you, David. You told me you didn't want me to leave, so I hunted you down. Now you say you want me to leave? Fine. But don't expect me to ever come back."

"Elizabeth, don't go to any extremes—" Roberta quietly whispered.

She shook her head fast and smiled at Roberta. "No, I think this is the best move for him. When he realizes what he's losing, he'll wake up. Just like I did. And if he doesn't what has he got to lose? I'm not dying or anything."

Roberta opened her mouth to speak, but the girl's logic was valid. "David, let's take you to your appointment."

* * *

><p>Lizzie sat on her bed, drowning her sorrows in a bottle of vodka. Beside her was a box of scattered photographs, a jacket, and various tapes she couldn't bring herself to watch. All things that Gordo had left behind when he left her behind. She peered at the tapes and raised a brow, finding a small note from his mother among the wreckage. It had apparently worked its way into her pocket at some point during the conversation, but she couldn't fathom when.<p>

_Elizabeth, he's pushing you away because he loves you. I know that sounds absurd, but give him time. He had to live without you, and now he finally realizes he has you again. It's a lot to adjust to. Just give him time to find out who he is and heal, and he'll be back to normal in no time. Right now, as he told me at dinner the previous night, he feels like he's no good to you injured like this._

Was that true? The tall blonde wondered taking another swig of Vodka. "This can't be happening."

Putting the bottle down she peered at the picture waiting for it to speak to her, but she felt like the memory of what happened was erased. The memory of who the child was didn't come to her. Who was that tiny blonde child in the sketch? She set it off to the side and picked up another photograph, dark green eyes calculating the location. School, apparently, and in it was Miranda leaning against the locker she'd had for four years. Beside her, looking tough in his dad's denim jacket, was Gordo, wearing that famous grin as he stared at the floor before him. Many years had passed, and what they promised would stay the same, hadn't. Miranda grew up and moved on; she even had a child to worry about soon. Gordo would have grown up and left, too, making her the last of the group to move on.

"No," Lizzie took another swig then slammed the bottle down. "I will _not _have this."

Managing to dial Miranda's number, she did a conference call between Gordo and herself. "Liz?"

Miranda was just as perplexed. "Lizzie?"

"I don't want to do this anymore," She slurred, her voice broken and small. "I want us to be who we used to be."

"Lizzie, I'm at work right now," Miranda answered. "Are…are you drunk?"

"Shut up, Sanchez. I don't want us growing apart," Lizzie could have sworn Miranda just told her to go fuck herself, but for some reason, it didn't come up ever again. Not even as the click signaled the call was over. "Miranda, you especially. You're my best friend."

Gordo coughed to signify Miranda hung up. He frowned and peered at the photograph on his desk. Having that girl back wouldn't be so bad, would it? "Liz, we should talk. Meet me after my physical therapy tomorrow. This might answer some questions you've been having."

Then another click, and suddenly Lizzie felt so alone.

* * *

><p>Lizzie shivered in the rain, holding her arms around her tiny body as she waited for Gordo to finish his therapy. They told her she could go in, but she didn't want to risk seeing him vulnerable. After twenty minutes standing in the rain, the offer looked appealing. She opened the door and heard the conversation between him and his therapist. All she could pick up were words like <em>hurt her <em>and _never again_. Nursing a hangover did make it difficult to concentrate.

"David," The girl whispered. "Don't take anything for granted. One day it will be gone and it will leave you wondering where you went wrong, why you can't get it back. Wasn't Emma a good indicator of that?"

He looked up at the woman and nodded. "Emma would have been what saved us."

"It should be _you _that saves you. Not a baby. No baby deserves a life like you two are living. You don't need the heartache, and she doesn't need the confusion. Either let her go, or suck up your stupid pride and help her. She stood by you while you were healing; now make up for the lost three years and _heal her._" Shannon whispered quietly. "Don't turn your back because this isn't' what you wanted. Didn't you want to marry her?"

"Yes," Gordo's voice seemed so loud in the large room. Even though he whispered, it seemed to echo a thousand times and bounce off the broken pieces of Lizzie's heart. "I want her to be my wife. My life. My heart and soul. I want to give her everything she wants so she never has to work again. He moved his leg slightly as the nurse spoke, telling him to.

"Then show her that you're a man and not a boy. Show her you can take care of her." Shannon stopped and placed a hand against his knee, the other behind it, and forced him to bend it. "You're making great progress, you'll be leaving soon. Shortly, you won't even need to come here anymore."

As Gordon winced in pain, his eyes shut tightly; he took in the nurse's words. "Will I ever see you again? Shannon, you've helped me so much over the last few weeks, I'm not even sure where to start thanking you."

"You can start thanking me by not letting her get away this time. God knows when love is true, and your love, David Gordon, is truer than anything I've seen. Be with her for the rest of your life and never stop caring for her. She wants you as bad as you need her." Shannon smirked and put his leg down. "Come back on Friday at twelve, we'll finish up your therapy."

He nodded and reached for his jacket, turning to see Lizzie standing quietly in a corner. He'd expected her after the meeting, not during. He reached to touch her hand, but she pulled it away. "Shannon, huh?" She asked bitterly. "Is that what you wanted me to see? That you love Shannon?"

"No, Lizzie." His voice cracked when he thought of the idea of cheating. Weren't they a couple now? Wasn't Lizzie in love with him? How could she be so blind? "I don't love h—"

"It sure looks like you do!" She threw the box she got for him at the floor. "Forget it, Gordo. I'm through with you. For good this time."

Shannon retrieved the box and handed it to Gordo. It was tiny, smaller than anything else she'd given him. Yet even with trembling hands, he couldn't bring himself to open it. Being the strong one he was, he took a deep breath and smiled at Shannon. "Thanks. I appreciate it. I just don't know what to do now."

"Find her…bring her home, where she belongs."

* * *

><p>The blonde trembled in the cold air. She pushed her hair back, but the unfair wind kept shoving it back in her face. She didn't' know where she was headed, but "anywhere but here" sounded like a good alternative. She put her hand down on the counter, ready to purchase the ticket, when she felt strong hands wrap around her body. Any other time she would have fought them off, but the smell of cedar made her pause. "David?"<p>

"It's Gordo, beautiful." He whispered, spinning her to face him. "I got your message loud and clear."

"What message?" Lizzie asked, voice broken from hours of crying prior to this moment. Even now, keeping her voice even was a difficult task.

He held up the flat box with blue wrapping paper. The flat box wasn't more than the size of a cell phone. He held the item out to her and closed his eyes, begging for forgiveness. She gingerly took the box and touched the faint blue paper. "Didn't I give you this?"

"Yes, but I reused the box. Open it."

She carefully opened the lid and peered at the contents. Inside it was a charm bracelet with the letters L, E, D.

"What…?" Lizzie inquired casually.

"How far along are you?" He asked, standing firmly on the ground, for the first time feeling able to stand longer than a minute. He stared at the girl he proposed to not even a month before, and felt his breath catch when she didn't answer for a long time. Her bright hair blew into her face again, crossing in the middle, and he started to feel defeated. Her stunned silence cut only by her tears. "Lizzie?"

"Only three weeks." She looked up at him. "I wasn't even imagining it. I thought they couldn't tell until four months…but I was wrong. Mom asked me to take the test two weeks ago…"

"How did that turn out?" As if he didn't already know. "Have I been treating you terribly this whole time, Lizzie? Did I hurt you?"

"No, no…you didn't hurt me." She smiled and kissed his hand, sliding the bracelet onto her wrist. For the first time in several months, she was glad to have something hide her scars. "You didn't even say anything bad to me."

"Then why are you crying?" He asked with his voice full of naivety.

"Because she's going to look just like you," Lizzie commented very quietly. Her voice was smaller than a pin dropping in a crowded room. "My hair and your eyes."

"What if it's a he?" Gordo asked dubiously. "Then what?"

"You know what? Stop poking holes in my logic." She put her thumbs through his belt loops and tugged him close. "But it is good to have you back again."

"You know, Lizzie, it's great to see you again, too. You haven't smiled in so long, I was afraid you forgot how. A smile is a terrible thing to waste." He kissed her lips again and grabbed her hand. "Do you want to tell my parents or should I?"

"You. It would mean so much more coming from you."

* * *

><p>As Roberta placed the last plate on the table, she watched Lizzie move uncomfortably. The last time the family had been in silence like this was when she announced her plans to go to New York with their son. She moved to sit when Howard asked her to. "Thank you for making dinner, Mrs. Gordon."<p>

"Its fine," She murmured, as if talking to the fish in the middle of the table. "How have things been going between David and yourself?"

She wanted to shout it out to them, but her voice wouldn't speak up. "Better. Did you know he's almost done therapy?"

"Is he?" Howard smiled softly when Gordo came into the room, laughing absently to himself. "What's got you so chipper, David?"

"Well, dad, I'm glad you asked. You see, I spent three years away from you guys. And now, when I wake up, there's a nice little surprise waiting for me. Elizabeth. And she looks amazing for being a wreck all three years. But let me tell you a little secret about Lizzie. Lizzie and I can go to separate countries and always find our way back to each other again. That takes talent. But Lizzie and I are pleased to make an announcement with you." Gordo answered, his unruly locks bouncing slightly as he spoke.

Lizzie finally felt very small. What would they think? Would they hate her? She was only twenty-one. Her heart froze in place for a long time, until Gordo spoke again. His voice was calm and steady, grounded in more ways than one. He didn't cry or speak too loudly. "Mother, Father, I want you to both know that I love you. You're my shelter from the storm, the ones that carry me when I fall down. You've both given me the strength to know I can do anything on my own, and to believe in my own dreams. That's why I'm asking for your forgiveness, first, in the fact that I ask for your permission to move out, and live with my fiancée, Lizzie."

Howard's normally understanding blue eyes began to fill with rage. How could his only son ask him that? Especially after a near-death experience? He calmed when he felt Roberta's hand gently on his, twisting his wedding ring in the fashion she did to remind him he was human. "He was going to move to New York anyway, Howard. Is this any different?" Roberta questioned. The older graying man shook his head no.

"While I've done something's that you can't excuse, I hope you understand I'm still the man you know. So I thank you, I don't say it enough, but thank you. I know it's not enough. I thank you, I'm grateful; no living creation could ever replace you." Gordo continued, voice staying strong and loud through the entire ordeal. "Elizabeth is pregnant. I intend to take full responsibility. I intend to stay by her side; morning, day and night, and tell her I love her until she's tired of hearing it." Howard opened his mouth to speak, but Gordo cut him off. "I'm sorry, father, I know you don't like when I cut you off, but you need to hear everything I have to say. For nearly seventeen years I have been in love with one woman. She has always been a part of my life and held me when I fall down. She reminds me who I am when I stray too far away. She holds my heart in her hands and she knows it. But I'm begging you, father, please don't make me say goodbye to another child."

"So it's okay to ask me to say goodbye to my only son for the sake of him being with his love? You're twenty-one, David, how are you going to support this supposed child? And how do you know she isn't lying to you?" Finally the level-headed Gordon snapped and stood to his feet, challenging his son with every word, every look. "You have been given too much slack in this home. You feel that with that authority, you can ask whatever you want, no matter how absurd. I won't have it, David. I will _not _have you desecrating our name."

Lizzie shrank into her chair, small feeling really comfortable right now. She wanted to get involved, but this was Gordo's fight, not hers. And even as he spoke, he was careful to make sure the point was firmly made. "I _will not _abandon my family!" Gordo shouted. "I don't care if it hurts to say goodbye, or if you feel like I'm turning you away. I would never do that and you know it! I feel that since I have been independent for so long, I should be allowed to be happy with her! How can I marry her and not live with her?"

Roberta stood as well, resting a hand on the back of Howard's shoulder. "Dear, he has been faithful for years. She won't hurt him, I have been counseling her. She is a very nice girl. You know that."

Howard opened his mouth again, this time; the words did the damage before anyone had the chance to stop it. "It isn't his."

Gordo turned a sharp gaze to Lizzie, whom stood up finally, her blonde hair falling freely around her face. She took a deep breath, words failing her for the moment. "How DARE you imply that I'm a whore! I have been faithful to your son for almost a decade! I have never loved anyone as much as I love him!"

Howard shook his head. "It isn't yours, David. Is that what you want? To raise a family with someone who doesn't love you? Are you that desperate for love that you can't see she's using you?"

Gordo reached down and took Lizzie's hand, father and son's eyes connecting long enough for a spark of energy to pass between them. "I wouldn't care. I believe her word over anything else in this world. And she is the one I love. You cannot take me from her, nor can I take you from my life. You're my father, you always will be the one who mentored me and sheltered me, you taught me to care for those less fortunate, to believe in myself, and to breathe on my own when I felt hopeless. You told me that you would never turn me away. And you are…"

Roberta nodded and waited casually, her voice tiny compared to Howard's booming words. "Do not challenge your father."

Several moments passed in silence. Gordo spoke again after ten minutes passed. "You wanted this, mother. You wanted this as much as I did. A grandchild would be perfect for you, she would help you around the house, you said. You wanted this."

Roberta shook her head, her head running through all the possible answers until she turned to Howard. "I wish I could say he is lying, but David does not lie." Roberta answered, voicing her opinion finally. "He would do anything for her…if the accident doesn't prove claim to such allegation, I don't know how else to show you. They need each other, Howard. And as young as they are, it _would _be unfair to make him say goodbye to another baby. Don't make him hurt anymore. Let them be happy."

Another few moments passed in stunned silence as everyone took in the words. Suddenly Lizzie's hands shot to her stomach where she pressed a palm firmly. Gordo fell to his seat beside her and touched her hand where it rested. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine, but I'm not so sure about the baby," She whispered, carefully moving her hand in circles to calm the pain slightly…a trick she'd learned for dealing with cramps. "I don't think he likes the fighting."

"It isn't healthy for either of them." Roberta whispered. "I do not wish for you to be unhappy, David. But perhaps your father is right. Perhaps you need time to grow up before starting a family."

"So risking my life for the woman I love isn't grown up!"

"It's _foolish_." Howard shouted.

Lizzie looked away, folding over in pain. Gordo paused and listened to her whispering something about not dying yet, and his voice fell, the once strong as possible words falling to nothing in the empty crevasse that was his dining room. "If she dies—"

"I shouldn't have come here," Lizzie whispered, holding her hands on her stomach, wrapping possessively around. "I was stupid to believe I could ask forgiveness for what I've done." She stood to her feet and went to the hall closet, grabbing her jacket and sliding it on. "I'll be fine on my own. I've done it for years now. I'm sorry your parents are too ignorant to let you see your baby." As Lizzie left, she could hear the arguing continue into the background.

* * *

><p>Gordo sat on his old blue bed and took a deep breath, wondering how his parents had such authority over him when he was so old. "Me? No. I'm getting my job back at the old bookstore. Kate offered to hire me back."<p>

Lizzie laughed absently. "Kate, huh? Boy that girl sure gets around."

"She told me that my first week is in advance, since I was supposed to work for her three years ago and everything went to hell." He quietly listened to Lizzie breathing for some time. "He doesn't hate you, you know."

"It sure sounded like he did," Lizzie whispered. "I don't want ill will between the families. My family took it amazingly well."

"Your family is progressive. Mine is old fashioned." He untied his shoes as he spoke, throwing them into the corner. "I wish he could see that I love you."

"You took a proverbial bullet for me, wasn't that enough?"

"He's afraid that if I stay with you, I'll end up dying for real this time." He closed his eyes and threw his body back into the pillow. "Lizzie, you're going to marry me, right?"

"Pick a date and time, and I'll be there in the fanciest dress I own. Even if it's a burlap sack." Lizzie laughed when he said 'oh god' at the visual of a burlap sack. For some reason, now all he could think of was the sexy little number she wore the night their child was conceived. "Lizzie, if it's a girl, are we still naming her Emma?"

"Of course, who said otherwise?"

"Can we name him Howard if it's a boy?" He asked, listening to the stunned silence on the other end, feeling a need to verify why he felt that way. "My dad cares too much about me; he wants only the best for me. I'll go to college in New York, but you'll come with me. We'll raise him or her together, I promise. No, I swear. I won't leave your side as long as I live."

Lizzie moaned on the other end, he could hear the sheets crinkle together while she curled up. "Gordo, I think your parents were right when they said we weren't ready."

"Lizzie, what's wrong?" when he was met with silence, he began to wonder what was really happening. A thought dawned on him and hit hard; wasn't' she drunk only a day before? What if she was miscarrying again? Could he really live with the guild that he was the reason why he lost another child? "Elizabeth?" Suddenly he knew what was wrong. He hung up and dialed 911 as soon as he could then ran down the steps, nearly tripping and falling when he forgot how to walk. "Mom!" He shouted over the quiet words she and Howard were discussing a patient. "Start the car, we need to go."

"Go? It's almost midnight, David. Are you deranged?" Howard asked.

"Father," Finally the strong boy broke down and his voice had a tremble to it. "It's Lizzie. I don't think she's okay."

* * *

><p><em>New chapter. Crappy chapter. Ugh. So tired. In a Nyquil coma since I can't sleep and I feel like throwing up. Yay me. I have a ten hour shift tomorrow. IF I get through it, it would be a miracle. I'm also suffering a bad break up…more on that later. My writing reflects my moods, so don't be shocked if this gets slightly more dramatic.<em>

_BTW this chapter came out to TEN PAGES...which is FIVE MORE than my usual chapter updates. Should this count as one or two? LOL! I'll count it as one. I keep skipping slightly because I'm tired of waiting for the chapter I really want to do. =) **READ AND REVIEW!**_


	16. Final

Hey,

It's me, River. I'm writing this to let you guys know that I'm discontinuing this story. It's not done, not by a long shot, but Star of David is now over. I'm deleting this version as it's posted now, and reposting it again. I _have _to rewrite it before I go insane. I wrote myself into a corner with the last four chapters, and I need to fix it. So, I'll give you all time to know what's going on with this before I delete it. I'm taking it down by next Friday, and I'll have it re-uploaded and fixed by the 17th of January.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but it would be much too confusing to re-write the chapters and just put them up. I have to actually fix it, and delete the old version.

Meanwhile, if you so choose, you can read some of my other stories; _Overcoming Insanity_ or _Don't Call Me __Daddy_, if you want to.

I promise I'll have this fixed in a jiffy. Sorry, again, for the inconvenience.

-River


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